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Half the Sky
COVER
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Half the Sky
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Half the Sky
stories of women marriage migrants
and their empowerment
Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM)
April 2014
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This is a project of the Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM)
supported by the Evangelischer Entwicklungsdienst (EED-Germany).
COPYRIGHT
Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM)
April 2014
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
The Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM) holds
the rights to this publication.
The publication may be cited in part as long as APMM
is properly acknowledged as the source and APMM is
furnished copies of the final work where the quotation
or citation appears.
Comments and inquiries may be forwarded to:
ASIA PACIFIC MISSION FOR MIGRANTS (APMM)
G/F, No. 2 Jordan Road, Kowloon, Hong Kong SAR, CHINA
Tel. No. (852) 2723-7536
Fax No. (852) 2735-4559
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.apmigrants.org
Cover design and layout by Rey Asis
Artwork by A4DP
Printed in Hong Kong SAR, CHINA
ISBN 978-988-19440-8-5
Half the Sky
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CONTENTS
Preface 7
Acknowledgments 9
Life Stories of
Women Marriage Migrants
Taiwan
Pei Hsiang 13
Manchi 29
Yadrung 49
South Korea
Jia Jia 69
Charlene 73
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Japan
Agalyn 87
Zeny 101
Hong Kong
Mary 117
Ms Poon 121
Australia
Cherry 141
Grace 147
About the book 153
About APMM 153
About AMM♀RE 154
Half the Sky
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PREFACE
Pictures are said to be worth a thousand words.
However, a picture of empowerment will never be
enough to convey the story behind the painstaking
process – the context of how it started, the trials that
one has to suffer, the sacrifices that must be endured,
the decisions that have to be made, and the liberating
happiness that results from its success.
This is what this book wishes to do. The book, Half the Sky: Stories
of Women Marriage Migrants and Their Empowerment, is a collection
of stories about women marriage migrants who did not only face
a life of sacrifice and struggle in their new home countries but also
found strength and empowerment through joining an organization,
reaching out to their fellow women marriage migrants, helping
others.
Nine years ago, the APMM started pioneering the work of raising
the level of advocacy, education, and organizing of marriage
migrants in the Asia Pacific region. While there already existed
on the ground various forms and levels of organizing of marriage
migrants, as well as campaigning for their rights especially of
women marriage migrants, the APMM believed that issue of
marriage migration must be further projected and developed in
order to enable their participation in the surging movement of
migrants, immigrants, refugees and other displaced people.
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Preface
Since then, the APMM has conducted multiform initiatives focused
on the condition of marriage migrants, on the phenomenon of
marriage migration, and the related concerns – family, children,
domestic violence, social inclusion – that arise the issue.
Through the years, APMM has been a witness to the growing
ranks of empowered marriage migrants. It was inspiring to see the
eagerness of marriage migrants themselves to speak and to share
their experiences and thoughts. Coming from countries where
the status of women leaves much to be desired, then going to
a country where being a migrant further diminishes their status,
these women have been rendered silent for far too long.
The activities conducted by APMM and the cooperation
established by the Action Network for Marriage Migrants’ Rights
and Empowerment (AMM♀RE) have given these women
marriage migrants additional opportunities to have them heard
and also interact with fellow migrants all over the world.
Behind the collective strength that marriage migrants have shown
in the past years are individuals who decided to rise up as part
of a community. The stories in this book are reflections of brave
women on the personal transformation that they have undergone.
They are personal histories that the APMM hopes to be part of the
collective memories of the migrant’s movement.
Pictures may indeed be better than a thousand words. But with
these words of women marriage migrants themselves who suffered
and who were empowered, we hope to not only contribute to the
making of a picture of the condition of women marriage migrants.
Moreover, we hope to contribute to changing this picture and
transforming the words into the language of rights and justice for
women marriage migrants.
Half the Sky
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Women hold half the sky. And part of that half are
the many women migrants married to their local
partners in many parts of Asia and the Pacific and
the rest of the world. We call and know them as
marriage migrants.
This book, Half the Sky: Stories of Women Marriage Migrants and
Their Empowerment, could not have been made possible if Pei
Hsiang, Manchi,Yadrung, Jia Jia, Charlene, Agalyn, Zeny, Mary, Ms
Poon, Cherry and Grace did not have the courage to speak up and
share their stories of empowerment to us.
It has been their stories that drove this project to reality and
inspired many of us to pursue this initiative. We thank them for
their strength, for giving a piece of themselves to this endeavor, and
with that, we dedicate this book to them.
We would like to thank as well the many people who helped in
reaching out to marriage migrants, interviewing them and going
through the grueling task of translating and transcribing their
stories: Hsiao-Chuan Hsia and Zoe Tsu-ying Liang for Taiwan,
Gloria Hernando for South Korea, Butch Pongos for Japan,Yvette
Pan and Katie Davis for Hong Kong, and Jane Brock for Australia.
It is their passion and commitment that made this project even
more worthwhile.
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Acknowledgments
Much gratitude is given to Ina Silverio for her gift of words in
threading the stories of our marriage migrants into beautiful
narratives that we will be reading throughout this book. A mother
and a wife herself, she felt the privilege of taking a glimpse into the
lives of the nine women we are featuring in this book.
The Evangelischer Entwicklungsdienst (EED) who has been our
friend and partner in making avenues for marriage migrants to
speak out their stories and for their demands to be heard. For their
support to this project, thank you very much.
Last but not the least, the many women and men of Asia Pacific
Mission for Migrants, who helped in every detail of carrying
out the fulfillment of this project, all your efforts are very much
acknowledged and appreciated. No contribution is worthy of
measurement or comparison, only of great gratitude.
We dedicate this book to all women marriage migrants who
deserve every space to speak their minds, voice their concerns,
engage in decision-making, be free from any form of oppression
or exploitation, and become empowered citizens not only of their
new homes but of the world.
Ramon Bultron
APMM Managing Director
Tamsui, Taipei
Half the Sky
photo taken by Rey Asis
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Taiwan
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A
s of February 2013, there are about 475,000 marriage immigrants in
Taiwan, and most of them from Southeast Asia and Mainland China.
Despite the many problems they encounter, there are organizations in
Taiwan that cater to the needs of marriage migrants and have taken initiative in
organizing them. Two of these organizations are TransAsia Sisters Association
Taiwan (TASAT) and New Immigrants Labor Rights Association (NILRA).
TASAT
NILRA
TransAsia Sisters Association, Taiwan
(TASAT) is a grassroots organization striving
for marriage migrants’ empowerment, rights
and welfare. As the first national organization
in Taiwan established by marriage migrants
themselves,TASAT was formally established on
December 7, 2003, but her origin dates back
to the Chinese literacy program founded in
1995, which was the first initiative dedicated
to marriage migrants in Taiwan. As the media
described it, TASAT had gone through the
“Eight Years War of Resistance” before her
success in formal establishment.
New Immigrants Labor Rights Association
(NILRA) was founded on April 12, 2008.
The mission includes: to protect the labor rights
of new immigrants in Taiwan so they achieve
genuine equal treatment in the workplace; to
provide new immigrants with legal information
and education so they can know their own
rights and benefits. Main programs include:
case consultation, social activities, information
of employment opportunities, public education,
and advocacy. Since its establishment, NIRLA
has established offices in Taipei and Taoyuan
for new immigrants to seek consultation and
assistance, and to get together and make friends.
The idea behind this long process before her
formal establishment is TASAT’s belief that
marriage migrants should speak for themselves,
and this process was to empower marriage
migrants, via learning Chinese language and
fulfilling other immediate needs, to organize
themselves to fight for their rights.
TASAT was also a co-founder of the Alliance
for Human Rights Legislation for Immigrants
and Migrants (AHRLIM) established in 2003.
Together with AHRLIM, TASAT has been
campaigning for changes in laws and policies
that will better protect marriage migrants’ rights
and welfare.
Half the Sky
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Pei Hsiang
Helping Herself by Helping
Others Help Themselves
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Pei Hsiang
It is not easy to leave and forget a difficult past, but
in helping others, I discovered I can also build a new
future for myself.
My name is Pei-Hsiang Lee and I was born in 1984 in a rural town
that was 2.5 hours away by car from Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I
have a son who was born in November 2003.
I have three elder brothers and one older sister, but when I was
10 years old, my mother died and my father soon remarried. My
stepmother had two sons.
When I was a freshman in high school, my stepmother said that
I should stop my formal schooling because I was old enough to
work and should begin to be independent. Besides, my stepmother
reasoned, no one else in the family had become fully educated, and
they had no good connections anyway so it was useless to study
anymore. Still, because I was my father’s favorite, my stepmother
did not get her way. They argued over the issue, and to prevent
more quarrels, I left for Phnom Penh to live with some relatives;
I also found work in a garment factory.
I was only able to work for three weeks and had to return home
because my father kept calling and begged me to come back. He
believed that it was not good for a young and single girl to live
alone in the city, and thought that it would be better for me to get
married instead. Since it had become fashionable for people to go
to Taiwan to get married and many of our neighbors had done so,
my father thought it would be good for his own daughter to do
the same. For this, my stepmother didn’t say anything.
Half the Sky
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Matchmaking, Marrying
The daughter of one of our neighbors had married a Taiwanese
and her mother became a matchmaker. The matchmaker matched
Cambodian women with Taiwanese men looking for wives. This
matchmaker took me to Phnom Penh and I stayed at the broker’s
home for almost two months. There were about five to eight
other women with me.
While I was there, one of my elder brothers called me and told
me to return home immediately because it was a disgrace that I
should let myself be treated like some kind of fruit waiting to be
picked by somebody. He promised to take care of me. I did not
accept my brother’s offer because I knew that my brother already
had his own family and also because I already promised my father
that I would get married. My husband was the first and only man
the matchmakers introduced to me.
However, I decided on my marriage rather carelessly. I called my
father and told him about the man I met. My father just replied,
“It’s your destiny.” At that time, feeling disappointed, I felt that
my father did not consider my future very seriously, and this made
me all the more determined to get married so I could finally leave
Cambodia. Still, while I really wanted to leave Cambodia, in my
heart I did not want to get married at all.
My reasons were practical: my father and stepmother fought often,
and I was depressed over how my third elder brother committed
suicide. I was also extremely depressed about my life and I
had almost given up on myself. I wanted nothing but to leave
Cambodia so that my father would not see how I had already
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Pei Hsiang
lost hope. I still waited some 20 days to leave for Taiwan after I
decided to marry my husband.
I arrived in Taiwan in October 2002 when I was only 18 years
old. My first year in the country went well, and everyone in
my husband’s family treated me with respect. Though I did not
understand Chinese, I managed to get by with body language and
with the help of the basic Chinese language book I brought along.
I also had a notebook where I wrote down Chinese words and
phrases I learned. My husband knew I wanted to study, so he
enrolled me in a Chinese literacy class at the Yonghe Community
University at Taipei County. This class happened to be organized
by TASAT (TransAsia Sisters Association, Taiwan). His action to
take me to Chinese class meant a lot to me, and I became more
willing to make our marriage happy.
However, I learned that there were differences between myself
and my husband in terms of values and living habits. Our greatest
arguments revolved around our differing opinions on how our
son should be educated. I found my husband using harsh ways to
discipline our son, but he let the young boy eat too much junk
food.
We lived in the same apartment with my husband’s parents. My
husband’s elder brother and his wife lived on the second floor
while I, my husband, son and my in-laws lived on the first floor
in the same building. When my father-in-law was still alive, the
family’s relationships were all cordial. After he passed away – my
son was six months old that time – my mother-in-law began to
give me and my husband problems.
Half the Sky
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In the beginning, I did not know the reasons for the sudden
change in her behavior because no one explained anything to me.
Eventually I learned that my husband’s elder brother was born to
his mom’s ex-husband. I had previously noticed that my husband
and brother-in-law had different last names, but since I did not
know much about Taiwanese culture, I thought it was part of
Taiwanese tradition that some brothers carry different last names.
Then I gradually realized that my mother-in-law’s sudden change
was not only because of the death of her husband, but it was also
directly related to some problems about property, specifically the
apartments we all lived in.
My mother-in-law feared staying home alone, so I was forced to
always stay at home to keep her company. The problem between
my husband and mother-in-law greatly affected me. My motherin-law picked on me often, and sometimes even turned on my
son. She did not allow me to use the phone, the television or any
other things in the house because she said that they all belonged
to her. I often hid myself and my son in the bedroom when my
husband went out to work.
My husband wanted to move out the house after some major
fights with his mother, but at the same time, I felt bad for wanting
to leave the old mother-in-law behind. I suggested to my husband
that the family should sit down and discuss how to resolve the
problems. For example, if the mother wanted them to trade
properties, they could move to the second floor and the brotherin-law could own the first floor, which is more valuable in the
market. My husband, however, did not listen to my suggestion.
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Pei Hsiang
My mother-in-law seemed to be aware that I was good to her. So
sometimes after my mother-in-law got into one of her bad moods
and picked on me, she later would talk in a more reasonable
manner, never exactly apologizing, but explaining what exactly
she was upset about. She told me that her son was in debt and that
he put their apartment up for a loan from the bank secretly; she
only learned about it after receiving a call from the bank.
I was shocked and so I confronted my husband. He then confessed
that he was in debt because of gambling. Despite the huge
disappointment, I still decided to forgive him on the condition
that he would never gamble again. I gave him credit for admitting
his problem. I really wanted our relationship to be built on
equality, mutual respect and trust, especially because I knew that
some people in Taiwan always suspect that foreign spouses always
ask for money to send home, and I didn’t want people to think
that way of me. It was also the reason why I never asked my
husband about how much he earned. I hoped that my husband
could honor our relationship by revealing the information himself
instead of my having to question him.
I did not want the family to break up, so I did not say anything.
In the coming weeks, I noticed some strange things. My husband
bought a new cell phone and I learned that he was having an affair
with another woman. I was deeply saddened because I felt that
all my efforts for this marriage and family were wasted. I found
that I could no longer accept him as my husband; even though I
could not bring myself to hate him or get mad at him because it
was his decision to get into an affair, I knew that his decision was
unforgivable and I could not live with it.
Half the Sky
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I wanted to get a divorce and struggled to come to the decision.
I hesitated against demanding a divorce because I had not yet
acquired Taiwanese citizenship and I was worried that I might
be forced to leave Taiwan after the divorce and be made to leave
my son behind. During the process of finalizing my naturalization
papers, I brought up the issue of divorce with my husband. It took
me about a year to finally get his agreement on the divorce and I
officially registered this in early 2009.
I sought the help of TASAT, including other marriage migrants
and local volunteers. I also called home but only told my family
in Cambodia that I might get a divorce and no other details. My
family tried to dissuade me from leaving my marriage because
they believed that it was not good for any married woman to be
divorced.
In May 2009, my ex-husband attempted to end his life the second
time and succeeded. It was because he felt that he failed to resolve
family problems and couldn’t deal with pressure of paying all
his gambling debts. By then, I had already rented a room and
determined to raise my son alone. While living separately from
my in-laws, my ex-mother-in-law and brother-in-law still offered
help to take care of my son whenever I left for work.
I experienced challenges as a marriage migrant. I had no ID
proving that I was a Taiwanese citizen. This meant that I had
no rights to access basic social welfares and any protection and
resources to help me. Worst of all, my lack of fluency in Chinese
proved to be a huge difficulty; I found it hard to effectively
interact with people even on ordinary matters. I couldn’t express
my feelings and thoughts well; I also found it hard to understand
Pei Hsiang
20
others and the local culture. For instance, I did not know how to
resolve family conflicts in the culturally accepted ways. I felt that I
couldn’t gain the trust of my ex-husband’s family and Taiwanese
society in general. I sometimes felt that I was treated as an outsider
in the family, and I did not have any say in the family’s decisionmaking process.
Becoming Empowered
It was in February 2003 when I first enrolled in the Chinese
program offered by TASAT. At that time, TASAT had not yet
been formally established. I stopped my involvement after three
months because I fell ill during my pregnancy, and my husband
could not take me to the lessons because of work. My brotherin-law, on the other hand, was often too busy to take me to class.
During that time, aside from attending Chinese language lessons,
I also attended some of TASAT’s activities, such as the public
events where TASAT members discussed issues that affected
marriage migrants through theater presentations. I did not attend
the Chinese classes for more than one year, but I returned to the
classes when my son had grown bigger. I also wanted to learn
more Chinese and to know more about the condition of other
marriage migrants. I also found from my previous experience that
all the volunteers in the Chinese classes were very nice, and I felt
better about myself when I was in the classes.
When TASAT offered the training workshops of multicultural
lecturers in 2005, I joined and have since been an active member
of TASAT. I was elected as one of TASAT’s officers in 2007.
From July 2009 to June 2011, I worked as a part-time staff of the
Half the Sky
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organization, and from June 2011 up to the present I worked as a
full time staff as the executive secretary of TASAT.
I learned that the main goals of TASAT are to empower marriage
migrants and to address issues related to immigrants. On the first
goal of empowerment, TASAT sought to empower marriage
migrants to enable them to help themselves and others. TASAT
develops programs that can address the needs of marriage migrants
and help them explore their potentials.
In the beginning, TASAT had Chinese literacy programs because
language barriers were the first difficulty that marriage migrants
encounter when they arrive in Taiwan. Later on, when many
marriage migrants have become more comfortable with the
language, TASAT provides programs to train them as multicultural
lecturers who can share the cultures of their home countries with
the general Taiwanese public, making people understand more
about marriage migrants.
To empower marriage migrants, it uses various means. Apart from
the language and multicultural trainings, TASAT formed a theater
group since learning Chinese is quite difficult and theater methods
help marriage migrants to better express themselves through body
language. Through the theater group, marriage migrants share and
discuss their issues and develop a script and present it to the public.
After the presentations, they hold forums so that the public can
understand more about the issues that affect marriage migrants.
TASAT has also helped marriage migrants become interpreters.
The migrant’s rights advocates noticed that many marriage
migrants find themselves at a disadvantage in court or police
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Pei Hsiang
stations because they could not understand the language. They
also lacked knowledge about the laws and policies. As a result,
TASAT started training marriage migrants to become interpreters
so they could help other marriage migrants and put their language
skills to good and effective use.
TASAT provides explanations on the relevant laws and policies
during the training sessions, and at the same time helps the
marriage migrants to improve their language skills. Once they
become qualified interpreters, it provides them with more job
opportunities.
TASAT also has programs for marriage migrants’ children. The
program does not just serve as a simple day care. Rather, the idea
is for the children to learn what their mothers are learning about.
For example, TASAT’s children’s program teaches the children of
marriage migrants’ languages, cultures, songs, dances, and other
elements of their mothers’ home countries.
Sometimes, marriage migrants serve as teachers of the children’s
program and share about Southeast Asia. TASAT also includes
some issues in the program and explain them through children’s
books, games, and films. For example, the children are taught
about the problem of landmines in Cambodia.
Recently, TASAT has a program training the children as “junior
civic reporters.” By discussing media reports, the children learn
about current events. For example, when there was a no-nuke
demonstration, they discussed about nuclear power and also joined
the demonstration against nuclear power with their mothers.
During their training as junior civic reporters, they learn how to
Half the Sky
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take pictures, make film, and do interviews and how to be news
anchors.
TASAT also helps marriage migrants who encounter legal problems.
The organization does not only help individual cases but also
examine if these cases are individual in nature or an institutional
problem caused by inappropriate policies and laws. Later, TASAT
develops campaigns with migrant sisters to change policies and
laws. To advance the campaigns, TASAT collaborates with other
organizations of the Alliance for Human Rights Legislation for
Immigrants and Migrants or AHRLIM. TASAT was one of the
founding member organizations of AHRLIM established in 2003.
In the past ten years, TASAT has accomplished many achievements.
It has been instrumental in pushing for changes of laws and policies
related to immigrants and migrants such as the amendment to the
Immigration Act which now allows divorced marriage migrants
to stay in Taiwan under certain conditions. It helped change
the financial requirement for naturalization in 2008. Also, by
sharing issues and advancing campaigns, Taiwanese society is now
friendlier towards marriage migrants; there is less discrimination
against them and less stereotyping.
TASAT sometimes initiates programs that later affected
government’s policy guidelines and also became the program
promoted by the authorities concerned. For example, the
Taiwanese government now holds trainings for interpreters and
sponsors multicultural trainings. The organization also empowers
marriage migrants from the gender equality point of view, so
marriage migrants can rethink women’s traditional roles in family
and eventually be free from the gender stereotyping. Last but
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Pei Hsiang
not least, TASAT encourages marriage migrants to gain a better
understanding about issues, not only problems encountered by
marriage migrants, but also other social issues, such as nuclear
power plants.
I loved joining TASAT because I felt happy being a part of such
organization. I felt that I was listened and attended to, I felt
understood at last. My experience of being a multicultural lecturer
offered me opportunities to interact with people who were
genuinely interested in learning about my native culture. Such
recognition was very rewarding.
Yet, sometimes I felt frustrated about teaching Cambodian culture
because, unlike Vietnamese and Indonesian lecturers, I had a hard
time finding suitable resources about Cambodia to use for my
teaching materials. Despite such information challenges, I cherish
these opportunities to express my ideas and share the culture of
my homeland.
There were other challenges while working in TASAT; for
instance, I had to learn phone manners and how to express myself
properly as a staff member and how to coordinate with different
members especially when they have different opinions.
Apart from the promotion of multicultural awareness, I noticed that
there were many social issues introduced in TASAT’s programs. I
remember one of the topics is about the discriminatory comment
from a legislator. The legislator said to the public that Vietnamese
marriage migrants should not have babies because their bodies had
the residue from poisonous Agent Orange used in the Vietnam
War. This topic was discussed in one of the training sessions and
Half the Sky
25
all migrants were angry and wanted to voice their disagreement
toward such comment. So TASAT helped hold a press conference
to protest against the legislator’s comment and demanded his
apology to all Vietnamese marriage migrants.
This process of discussing issues and taking action was a great
experience for me. I realized that I and other marriage migrants
have rights and we could issue demands to the government
and politicians if there are any misconduct or any forms of
discrimination against migrants.
Though it was my first time to join a protest action, I did not feel
afraid. I was with a group of people who were united together. It
also reminded me of my life in Cambodia where my family and
I did not like how the rich and powerful oppressed poor people,
but the poor did not have rights to speak up. The experience of
being able to express my own opinions for the first time was very
inspiring and life-changing for me. Though the press conference
then was about Vietnamese marriage migrants, I felt that I should
join as well, because all migrants should help each other regardless
of their different nationalities.
After I returned to TASAT in 2005, TASAT’s staff and volunteers
gave me help on how to take buses so I could know my way
around Taipei so I did not have to rely on my family to take me
to classes. Sometimes I felt afraid of the unfamiliar environment
in Taiwan, but the assistance given by TASAT members and
the sharing with other marriage migrants of TASAT, helped me
overcome my difficulties.
I am very glad to be a member of TASAT because I identify
26
Pei Hsiang
with TASAT’s vision: a belief in the marriage migrants and their
capability to speak for themselves. The organization knows that
migrants only need time and opportunities to develop their
potential. I feel that I have the trust of the people around me in
TASAT, something which I did not enjoy from my family in
Taiwan. My own family in Cambodia believed in my abilities,
but they were too far away to give me emotional support and
assistance. After years of involvement in TASAT, I become more
analytical and more able to understand concepts and issues beyond
what can be seen on the surface.
In April 2009, I went to the Philippines to attend the Cordillera
Day along with Prof. Hsiao-Chuan Hsia, who is also TASAT’s
founder and officer, and several community organizers of the
indigenous peoples in Taiwan. This trip had a great impact on
me as I witnessed the power and strength of a united people.
It broadened my perspectives and inspired me to do more to
organize and unite more people to push more issues for the benefit
of all migrants and to achieve common goals for the marginalized
sectors such as the marriage migrants.
In TASAT, I have learned how to find out ways to reach common
ground through discussing and about what things should be done
and what priority should be considered the most based on the
organization’s goals, principles and capacities. I learned these skills
from many training workshops for organizers and through practice
and constant collective discussion and assessment. TASAT gives
marriage migrants many opportunities and time to learn.
Also, organizing helps marriage migrants to understand the whole
societal and institutional structures, aside from their own rights
Half the Sky
27
and welfare. For me, the organization is like a big family that
works together for the benefit of all its members and society on
the whole.
I learned many personal lessons in TASAT as well; these include
developing my self-confidence and believing that I can do so much
more. I now want to sharpen my critical thinking ability and gain
more computer skills and become more insightful when exploring
issues with a more critical perspective. My present role in TASAT
has to do with organizing more marriage migrants.
Aside from being a member of TASAT, I feel like an elder sister
in a big family who can help younger sisters and brothers. To
help them, I believe that I must learn when to let go and when to
intervene more. Sometimes we need to encourage them to try out
things and discuss with them when they encounter problems, and
sometimes we need to intervene to offer more help when they are
in trouble.
Wanting to be a mature organizer, I also want to build more TASAT
chapters and offices in other parts of Taiwan, and empower more
marriage migrants to become activists and organizers.
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Half the Sky
Manchi
Finding Her Life’s Meaning
in Taiwan through TASAT
29
30
Manchi
It was a television show that led to changes in my life.
I learned about the organization that helped me find
my identity in Taiwan in a TV program that featured
TASAT…
My name is Manchi Hung. I was born in 1979 in Ho Chi Minh
City, Vietnam, and arrived in Taiwan in 1998. My son was born in
2000, and my daughter in 2004. My family is Chinese Vietnamese.
I am the eldest child in the family; I have four younger sisters and
two younger brothers. I first attended school at the age of four.
The war had only ended a few years previously, and the education
system was still chaotic. Sometimes bad men would come to
the school and bully the children, so my parents had me change
schools and transferred me to a Chinese school which was run by
Chinese Vietnamese authorities who did not allow strangers to
enter the school premises.
My family and I once lived very comfortably because my parents
ran a business selling groceries wholesale. However, after my first
younger brother was born, my parents lost many customers when
the government relocated the market where the business was
established and their shop consequently closed. Father also lost all
the money he invested in a store for coin-operated games.
At that time, my siblings and I were enrolled in school, and we
all needed money. I was 14 years old at the time, in the first year
of junior high school. I landed my first job as a waitress owned
by a Taiwanese man. I worked for the next six years and changed
several jobs to earn a bigger salary. I worked as a saleswoman for a
Half the Sky
31
store, as a bookkeeper, and then as an interpreter for a Taiwaneseowned factory.
One of my Taiwanese friends, a man who married my neighbor,
introduced my future husband to me. At first, when this friend
mentioned the issue to me, I didn’t respond to it because I found
the whole thing very embarrassing. Then one day I found out that
my friend was actually a matchmaker and brought a Taiwanese
man with him to Vietnam and asked me to have dinner with
them. I refused.
The matchmaker-friend then asked some of his wife’s friends and
relatives to come, but it turned out that the Taiwanese man he
was matching with me was not really interested in meeting other
Vietnamese girls. This was because he didn’t want to get married
in the first place and it was actually his mother who forced him to
go to Vietnam. His mother even went with him to Vietnam and
told the matchmaker that she did not like the women he brought
because they could not speak Chinese.
My matchmaker friend then went to my house again and begged
me to just have one meal with the Taiwanese man. He said that it
was only one dinner, that it was not that serious. I agreed to go.
My mother told me, “This matchmaker-friend of yours is so
annoying; you should do what he asks so he will stop bothering
you once and for all.” So I went to meet the Taiwanese man and
his mother. The mother liked me because I was tall by the standards
of most Vietnamese women and I also spoke Chinese. The mother
urged me to go out with her son for dinner, just the two of us. I
agreed, and during our date, I learned that the Taiwanese was an
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Manchi
honest man; he told me all about his life, including the fact that
he had a daughter from a previous marriage, and that he still lived
with his mother.
Soon after, the matchmaker asked the Taiwanese man and his
mother if they liked me. They both answered “yes”, but the man
said that he was apprehensive about proposing to me because he
was 16 years older than me.
As for myself, the matchmaker also called me repeatedly to ask me
if I liked the Taiwanese man. I answered that I didn’t like him
because he was “too fat”; my mother, however, pointed out that
at least the man was honest.
I pondered over everything. While it was true that I made a good
living, it was only because I kept two jobs. In fact, my employment
was not as stable as I had hoped. I thought that if I went to Taiwan
to marry the Taiwanese man, I could find work in the capital
Taipei and make more money I could send to my siblings who
were all in school. I also liked the idea of living in Taipei since it
was a modern city; I grew up in the city, and I would not have
been able to bear to live in a rural area. It was for all these reasons
that I decided to accept the proposal of the Taiwanese man.
My fiancé went home to Taiwan, made preparations, and returned
to Vietnam after a month so he and I could get married. None of
my friends agreed with the marriage since I knew little about the
man. One of my close friends became so upset that she said that
she would not attend the wedding party.
I said to myself that if I didn’t like my life in Taiwan, I could
Half the Sky
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return to Vietnam any time I want. I also checked the rules and I
learned that I would be required to go back to Vietnam after six
months of staying in Taiwan.
Most Vietnamese women at the time, especially those from the
rural areas, had very traditional values and believed that to get a
divorce was a shameful thing for a woman, but I was different.
I believed that there was nothing wrong about getting divorced
if one’s marriage did not work out; I firmly believed that it was
my own business and no one else’s. If my marriage with the
Taiwanese man failed, I would not get married again; after all,
I had always been okay being single. All I really cared about was
going to Taiwan to make more money so I could help my sisters.
Besides, it was also because the Vietnam government prohibited
its people to make contacts in the outside world. I also wanted to
see what Taiwan was like, and getting married was the only way
I could do it.
Living in a New Place, Facing New Challenges
When I first arrived in Taiwan, I had a hard time adjusting to
the environment and cried every day. I felt very lonely and my
husband’s family were like strangers as they were not even close
to one another. Though I can speak Mandarin, whenever I left
the house, it felt that other people were discriminating against me.
The weather was also a problem because it was winter when I
arrived and I could not bear the cold. Fortunately, my husband
treated me very well. He knew I had a hard time adjusting to my
new life and he worried that I was sad staying at home alone. He
took me out a lot to where he worked and many other places.
34
Manchi
Yet, I still wanted to return to Vietnam. After six months, I went
back to Vietnam because this was required by the Taiwanese
government.
At that time, I did not want to return to Taiwan, but my husband
called me at least four times a day and asked how I was doing. I
knew that my husband was worried that I would not return to
Taiwan. My mother persuaded me to go back to Taiwan by
saying that my husband treated me well and that I lived in the city.
I wasn’t able to complain about anything especially since I already
had the wedding party and accepted the dowry. So I stayed in
Vietnam for only one month and returned to Taiwan.
One year after I returned to Taiwan, I became pregnant with my
son and began to feel better. Having a child of my own made me
feel that I had my own family in Taiwan. The worst difficulty I had
was the fact that I had no say at all in my husband’s family. I had
to get the approval of my husband and his family for everything,
including buying things for the family. I used to be upset about
this, but gradually, I just let them make the decisions.
When it came to my children’s education, however, I put my foot
down and insisted that I be the one to make the decisions. The
family intervened frequently, but I was determined to resist ideas
I disagreed with.
I immediately realized that my husband had no clear idea about
how our children should be taught, but I had very specific goals
about my children and their education. My husband’s main
concern was about making money for our family; my mother-inlaw only cared about saving money and spoiling the children by
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35
always giving them what they want; and neither thought about
how to mold the children’s characters. They thought nothing
about training them to become independent.
What was upsetting to me was how my mother-in-law only
wanted me to take care of the children’s basic needs such as
cooking, cleaning up, and nothing about manners and discipline.
If I disagreed about something, she often scolded me like a child.
We quarreled frequently over this and she eventually grew to
dislike me because I did not obey her.
When I discussed with my husband about my disagreements with
my mother-in-law, my husband did nothing. Instead, he simply
told me to just ignore his mother if I didn’t like what she said.
Because of this, none of the issues were resolved. As time went
by, I grew tired of everything and gave up talking to my husband
about my problems.
Aside from my mother-in-law, my husband’s eldest daughter from
his previous marriage also lived with us. When I first arrived in
Taipei, the little girl was about eight years old and she was very
excited about my joining their family because she never had a
mom and she was quite lonely. From the very beginning, she
called me “mom”. My mother-in-law, however, always worried
that I would treat the young girl badly, so she put the child on her
guard against me all the time.
As for me, in the beginning I believed that I understood why
my mother-in-law behaved like this; but as time went by, my
mother-in-law did not change her attitude towards me at all. I felt
hurt and thought that the family did not trust me at all. I used to
36
Manchi
want to help bring up and teach my stepdaughter, but on several
occasions I heard my mother-in-law tell the little girl to disobey
me because I was not sincere and that I might harm her. The girl
was only in the third or fourth grade, but she already liked me and
liked to stay with me.
My mother-in-law appeared to resent this and often took the
little girl away from me. The only thing that my mother-in-law
allowed me to do is to cook and clean for the little girl, and didn’t
let me teach her anything. I felt that I was treated like a maid; it
was then that I decided not to participate in things related to my
stepdaughter and just let my mother-in-law take care of her; I
would only respond if I was approached. Despite my mother-inlaw’s interference, however, my stepdaughter and I still developed
a good relationship and became friends.
I often worried that my mother-in-law spoiled my stepdaughter. I
saw how my mother-in-law still washed the little’s girl’s hair even
when she was already 12 years old. I told my stepdaughter that she
should already learn to wash her own hair because she was already
old enough. My mother-in-law, however, retorted that I was
only being lazy and that I did not want helping my stepdaughter
because she was not my real daughter.
I believe that children should be taught to be independent from
an early age, so I taught my son to wash his own hair when he
was only four years old. While I decided not to intervene in the
education of my stepdaughter because my mother-in-law always
said that I did not love the girl because she was not my own child,
I resolved to fight back if the old woman interfered in how I raised
and taught my own children.
Half the Sky
37
One time, when my mother-in-law scolded me for being too lazy
to take care of the children when I told them to take care of their
things, I answered angrily, “If you cannot take care of them until
they get married, you should teach them to be independent.” I
proved myself right when my mother-in-law saw that her eldest
grandchild had become lazy and didn’t take care of her own things,
and then she finally realized that she was wrong, and this was what
prevented her from interfering in my own way of raising my own
son and daughter.
It was very hard for me to live with my husband’s family because
I didn’t get along with my mother-in-law. I believed that a family
was like a warm place where you want to go after working outside
and needed rest. I only felt happy when I was with my children
at home, so when they were out in school, I also stayed out. In
the past, it was only my mother-in-law who isolated me, but in
the later years, I also felt isolated from my husband because he
refused to help me with my difficulties. In ironic contrast, my
stepdaughter was always warm towards me and liked to share her
problems with me and sought my advice often.
I did not seek support from others whenever I had problems
with my family. I only focused on taking care of my children and
learned things for myself. I once tried to seek help from the wife of
my husband’s elder brother, but it turned out to be a mistake. The
wife told my husband’s sister, who then scolded my mother-inlaw. This made my mother-in-law even angrier. Because of this, I
saw that it was useless to ask help from any of them.
To spare my own family from worry, I did not say anything to my
parents. My mother only knew that I had adjustment problems in
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Manchi
the beginning but nothing else. Besides, I didn’t want my parents
to know that my mother-in-law looked down upon them because
she thought all the Vietnamese were poor. When my mother
visited Taiwan for the first time after I arrived, my husband
planned a wedding party in Taiwan.
My mother-in-law, however, treated my mother with scorn and
disrespect. My mother was seriously offended and cried, and she
wanted to go back to Vietnam immediately. Because of this, I
thought it would make her feel more worried if I told her about
my continuing problems with my mother-in-law. Neither did I
tell my father because my father was not the kind of person who
would help resolve problems.
Thankfully, I succeeded in making friends in the neighborhood;
my new friends were also marriage migrants and had similar
experiences. We shared our problems with each other. We also
gave advice to one another. My friends gave me all kinds of
suggestions on how I could deal with my family, but most of
the advice went against each other. I wondered why people with
different backgrounds had such different views on the same thing.
As a marriage migrant, I realized I had many problems such as
lack of money, lack of job opportunities, and lack of respect from
the people around me. Because of difficult economic conditions,
I felt that my abilities were not recognized by others. The biggest
challenge, however, was having to face all the challenges on my
own, with no support from my new family. From talking with
my friends who were also marriage migrants, I realized that we all
faced similar circumstances and problems.
Half the Sky
39
Becoming Empowered
In early 2004, I saw a TV program where TASAT was introduced
and some of the organization’s officials were interviewed. At the
end of the program, TASAT’s phone number was shown on
screen, so I called the group because I became very interested in
what the group said it did.
After my first visit, I was very impressed by TASAT. I used to attend
activities of other non-government organizations for marriage
migrants but I did not like them. I felt that those NGOs were only
making money from the marriage migrants. For instance, they
sometimes asked marriage migrants to dress up in their traditional
costumes and cook their traditional food; the NGO officials would
then take photos of them to get big grants. Unlike my previous
experience, I found TASAT’s goals were to develop and help the
marriage migrants themselves. So I decided to stay at TASAT.
When I first visited TASAT’s office, my daughter was only three
months old and I had to take the baby and my son with me.
When I visited TASAT, I found that there were training sessions
to help marriage migrants become multicultural lecturers where
they were encouraged to share about their own cultures in their
home countries. I became excited and impressed by the training
because I felt they were about the marriage migrants themselves,
so I decided to join the training sessions.
Later on in 2005, I was elected as an officer. At the time, I was not
very sure what officers were supposed to do. The volunteers gave
explanations, but to me, everything was still too general and vague;
I had never been part of an organization before then. I still agreed
40
Manchi
to become an officer, however, because I enjoyed the atmosphere
in TASAT. I learned that I and other marriage migrants could
share our experiences in our home countries with pride and help
ourselves adjust better to our new lives in our adoptive country.
I continued to participate in TASAT’s programs, except during
times when I had to take care of the children and could not leave
the house. What made me continue my involvement in TASAT
was because there were discussions about issues of policies and
laws that affect marriage migrants. TASAT also co-founded
the Alliance for Human Rights Legislation for Immigrants and
Migrants (AHRLIM) and discussed the Immigration Act with the
members.
I learned that many marriage migrants were exploited by their
employers; they had to do hard work, were subjected to long
working hours but were paid very little, even as little as NT$9000
or about US$300 per month. Because of these discussions, I
realized that the problems that marriage migrants faced (such as
exploitation by employers) were results of policies and laws. In the
process of discussing the laws and how to amend them, I learned
so much. I started to see the complexity behind the laws, which
ordinary people did not understand. In TASAT and AHRLIM,
advocates explained very clearly how the laws were made. I knew
that I would not have opportunities to learn about such things if I
did not join TASAT.
Before I joined the discussions organized by TASAT and AHRLIM
about the Immigration Act, I already had my first-hand experience
about how the governmental agencies made the lives of ordinary
people difficult. After I acquired Taiwanese nationality, I decided
Half the Sky
41
to file an application for my family in Vietnam to immigrate in
Taiwan. I myself was of Chinese descent and I learned that there
were policies for overseas Chinese to apply for citizenship in
Taiwan. I made the rounds in several governmental agencies to ask
about the procedures and requirements because no one could tell
me exactly how to go about the process of application. I became
more interested in learning about issues and how to reform laws
and policies. I felt more sympathy with marriage migrants who
could not read or write Chinese. They faced even more severe
discrimination when they went to apply for their citizenship. I
became angry over how other marriage migrants were treated; I
then committed myself to learn more so that I could help other
marriage migrants.
I applied for my father to immigrate to Taiwan in 2002, when my
kids were still very little. I had to bring my kids to go around with
me to the different governmental agencies because my motherin-law did not want to take care of them for me. This was partly
because she did not want me to bring my own family to Taiwan.
My husband did not know anything so he was of no help to me. I
realized that I could only rely on myself.
After joining TASAT, I continued to learn new things, so my
commitment to the organization grew stronger. I also realized
that TASAT can help change many people’s perspectives about
marriage migrants. For example, some volunteers did not
understand why marriage migrants came to Taiwan, or felt pity for
them. Some students or researchers treated marriage migrants as
merely subjects for their studies. In the meantime, many marriage
migrants looked down on themselves. In TASAT, however, they
try to change such mindset; by gaining more knowledge and
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Manchi
building more confidence, they also developed a more confident
perception about themselves.
Many marriage migrants feel hopeless because of the discrimination
from the society as well as the low self-esteem of migrants
themselves. TASAT encouraged them to explore their potentials
and develop their capabilities, and this in turn helped to strengthen
their confidence. TASAT also make its best effort to eliminate
discrimination from the public and make Taiwanese respect
marriage migrants. I found it very meaningful that TASAT
united with other organizations to form the AHLRIM and other
networks to promote respect and equality between the Taiwanese
and immigrants and migrants.
Without this, Taiwanese society, especially the rich, will continue
to discriminate against the poor. I believe that though people have
different economic standing and status, it is primarily because
they come from different environments and were given different
opportunities. Everyone should be treated as an equal and with
respect, but many people have the wrong ideas as if money was
the most important thing. TASAT can help people change their
wrong perspectives and realize that money is not everything.
I have become a firm believer of TASAT as an organization that
empowers marriage migrants, influences the Taiwanese people to
respect marriage migrants and other migrants, and finally respect
people from different cultures and to change policies. To me, even
without money, many things can still be done as long as people
are in solidarity.
Through the years, I became witness to many of TASAT’s
Half the Sky
43
activities that helped marriage migrants. It trained them to become
multicultural lecturers; empowered marriage migrants so they can
organize others; campaigned for amendments to many policies
and laws that had concrete impact on marriage migrants such as
their rights and benefits.
TASAT also helped marriage migrants who were not yet Taiwanese
citizens like the Cambodian marriage migrants who could not
give up their original nationality because of Cambodian policies;
because of this, they were not eligible to apply for naturalization
because of Taiwanese policies.
Because of TASAT’s campaigns together with other organizations,
2,800 Cambodian marriage migrants were able to secure Taiwanese
citizenship in 2007. Unlike before, the Taiwan government also
relaxed the financial requirements for naturalization, and marriage
migrants who got divorced because of domestic violence could
continue to stay. TASAT also participated in the campaign that
successfully pushed for amendments for regulation for marriage
migrants from Mainland China, so the length of residency to apply
for citizenship was shortened from eight years to six years. They
now also have the right to work.
Before, no one cared about the culture of the home countries of
the marriage migrants. Because of TASAT, it became popular
to talk about the different cultures of the marriage migrants and
the government acted as if it was its own initiative to popularize
these cultures. In fact, the Taiwan government embarked on its
multicultural project because TASAT had done much to train
marriage migrants so they can advocate for multiculturalism. In the
meantime, TASAT has also effectively argued that the population
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Manchi
of marriage migrants in the country has increased so much that the
government cannot ignore them anymore.
I became a part time staff of TASAT in 2008 and quit after two
years because my relationship with my husband worsened and I
felt my life was a mess and I needed to take a break. Because of
my problems at home, I was unable to do my work well, and I
felt that I was making others suffer from my poor work. I felt
more pressured, and could barely control my emotions. I realized
that I was going out of control when I found myself yelling at my
daughter. I did not want my children to suffer more because my
husband and I fought with each other so often. I decided to quit
my job so I could sort out the mess and reorganize my life.
In 2010, I was elected as a TASAT officer again and later elected
as vice chairperson in 2012. In August 2013, I became TASAT’s
part time staff again. Ever since I visited TASAT in 2004, I have
never left TASAT, even when I had troubles with my husband
and my life was a mess. I still hold a strong faith in the organization
because it was in TASAT that I found meaning and a strong sense
of accomplishment in life.
I learned many things in TASAT, about laws and policies; how
to examine laws and policies that ordinary people do not know;
see different aspects of the government; collaborate with other
organizations and campaign for the issues of marriage migrants so
that Taiwanese society would listen to them.
Though I am the kind of person who does not like to organize
and lead others, except my family, I began to learn and enjoy
organizing other marriage migrants. TASAT is like a school where
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45
you have many people including the volunteers and professors
whom you can consult with.
I also had many great experiences in TASAT. As one of TASAT’s
delegates, I was able to attend international meetings and
conferences overseas with people from different countries. It’s an
extraordinary experience. It’s not like any ordinary travel because
we went abroad for important meetings, not for fun.
I admit that I did not fully understand all that was discussed in
the meetings, but I still attended as a representative of TASAT,
to share our issues and experiences. Though we did not fully
comprehend everything, at the same time, we were like experts
in some ways. We interacted with delegates from other countries
and heard many stories and were very touched. If I had not been
with TASAT, I would not have the chance to hear about their
lives and experiences.
My work in TASAT also taught me to look at things from many
perspectives and to analyze things beyond the surface. Take a simple
thing like putting on makeup for example. I used to love to make
myself pretty and would get excited whenever I saw new cosmetic
products; all I cared about before was if the makeup would make
me pretty. But now I would look at how the cosmetic companies
promote themselves, how they make profits from advertising and
which big corporations own the brands, what these corporations
have done in society, their reputations, etc.
I also learned to listen carefully and patiently to others; and how
to organize and analyze things. I teach my children to analyze
the strength and weakness of their work and how to improve it.
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Manchi
Knowing how to organize and analyze things will help us identify
problems and methods to improve our work. Otherwise, we only
wonder why we keep on failing and can gradually lose confidence.
My work in TASAT is to influence other marriage migrants.
Wherever I go and whenever I have a chance, I share my work
with marriage migrants and tell them about TASAT and how
it can help them. Most of the time, they are very impressed
with TASAT’s work, especially when they learn that TASAT
was formed by marriage migrants and that at least two thirds of
TASAT’s officers are marriage migrants. Unlike our organization,
they are controlled by local people and design programs based on
the assumptions of marriage migrants from the locals and the locals
tell the marriage migrants what to do.
My future plan is to become an expert on immigrant issues. I think
that many so-called experts on immigration are not real experts.
Those experts approach me and ask for my opinions! But in the
government’s various committees, these experts are requested by
the government to make recommendations and evaluations about
programs, polices and laws for immigrants. I was wondering to
myself, how can they say they are experts?
Now my biggest hope is to encourage more marriage migrants to
join TASAT. I want us to recruit more and invite different people
to give us trainings, so we can learn more; organize more marriage
migrants and be mature organizers who can expand TASAT
or establish their own organizations. Our multicultural lectures
cannot just share about our own cultures – it’s not enough. We
need to know more about the trends of immigration in Taiwan
as well as in the international sphere; we need to know the
Half the Sky
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developments and issues of children of immigrants. We need to
constantly advance ourselves, always gain new perspectives. We
need to discuss how to design the new trainings.
I have found both meaning as well as my self in TASAT, and I
want many more marriage migrants to do the same.
48
Half the Sky
49
Yadrung
Her Journey of
Self-Discovery
50
Yadrung
Sometimes life can take a different turn, and what once
was a life full of despair becomes full of meaning….
I was born in 1977 in a city near Pattaya in Thailand. My son was
born in May 2002.
I have two elder brothers but we did not grow up together. After I
was born, I was left with my aunt, the younger sister of my mother,
while my two brothers stayed with other relatives. I did not even
know where my mother and brothers were, and I never knew who
my father was. My eldest brother went to stay with my maternal
grandparents when I was about to enter primary school at the age
of seven. My second brother stayed with other people, but I was
able to at least see him in school. This brother ran away after he
finished grade school and since then, no one knew where he was.
My grandparents had a farm where they grew sugar cane and
fruits. They also had a business buying and selling water buffaloes.
Though my grandfather was quite rich, he never gave any money
to me. My mother sent money to my aunt for my living expenses,
but I envied my eldest brother who stayed in our grandfather’s
big house. Since my grandfather did not treat me well, I often felt
sorry for myself. I often asked myself, “Why does my eldest brother
have so many nice things but I don’t? No one loves me, not even
my mother”.
The first time I met my mother was when I was in the fourth
grade. I was so happy to meet her because I finally had a mother! I
did not have a happy childhood because the other children bullied
me.They ridiculed me because they knew that I lived with neither
my mother nor father. I was forced to develop a thick shell and to
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51
persevere on my own. I struggled hard to do well in school, and
I learned to fight back, both verbally and physically when others
were cruel to me. No one in the family ever explained to me why
my family was broken. The only explanation I heard was from my
grandmother who simply said that my mother had “run away”.
My mother’s first visit did not last long. I remembered vividly that
on the day I left, I cried and cried so hard on the street that I fell
asleep right there. A neighbor took me back to my grandfather’s
house. One to two years later when I was in the fifth or sixth grade,
my mother returned home and settled in the house because her
father, my grandfather, fell ill. The business eventually failed since
no one looked after it.
My mother brought along her boyfriend and built another house
where my eldest brother and I could live together with them; by
then, the second brother had run away. I was willing and even
eager to live with my mother, but I could not help but resent her
boyfriend.
Since I could not accept the boyfriend, I decided to move to Pattaya
for high school. I rented an apartment together with four other
friends. I asked money from my grandmother. Since my grandfather
had died a year after my mother returned, my grandmother felt
sorry for me because my grandfather did not treat me fairly when
he was still alive. Because of this, my grandmother supported me
in my studies. The money my grandmother gave was not enough,
however; I still had to work part-time to support myself.
To earn more money, I became involved in drug smuggling. I
started this in college. After I graduated from college, I worked
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Yadrung
at a department store as a saleswoman. In 1996 right before I
graduated, one of my friends introduced me to a Taiwanese man
who frequently came to Thailand for travel purposes, and he could
speak some Thai. For the next three years, this man visited me
several times and eventually proposed marriage to me
Since I wanted to leave my family after all my sad experiences
living with them all of my life, and also because I wanted to start
afresh after being involved in drug smuggling, I decided to marry
this Taiwanese man. I did not discuss the matter with my family
and informed them only after I already decided. My eldest brother
disagreed with my decision, but he failed to change my mind.
My mother was silent and my grandmother worriedly asked me,
“What if he just sells you in Taiwan?” I was fearless and answered,
“I was not afraid of being involved in drug smuggling. Why would
I fear being sold in Taiwan?”
Finding a New Life, Becoming a Marriage Migrant
I arrived in Taiwan in 1998. In the beginning, I had a hard time
adjusting to my new family. I lived with my husband’s parents and
elder brother. Though my husband could speak Thai and I learned
some Chinese while we were dating, I could hardly communicate
with his family.
Most of the time I just stayed in the bedroom and waited for
my husband to return from work. I watched TV, slept, smoked
and cried in my room while waiting for my husband. I called my
family in Thailand often and the phone bills became exorbitant.
When I called home, I usually asked how everyone was doing and
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asked how to make Thai dishes (back in Thailand, I hardly cooked),
and cried with my family over the phone.
For a long time I had no friends in Taiwan from whom I could
seek support or even just talk to. The only friends I had then were
friends of my husband, so I could not share and discuss with them
about my problems with my new family. I did not seek help or
support from my family in Thailand either, because I was not really
close to my family and I did not want them to be worried.
I also had a hard time getting used to my chores as a housewife: my
husband asked me to wash all the clothes of the family, while each
person washed their own clothes in Thailand. My husband and I
also frequently argued over the fact that he wanted me to serve his
parents, but they were still healthy enough and very willing to take
care of themselves.
I also did not like my two sisters-in-law who lived nearby. My
husband wanted them to come to our house and teach me to do
chores and how to cook as if I was a little girl who knew nothing.
Being an independent and tough woman for years in Thailand,
I could not stand being treated like a child. I felt that I suddenly
became a useless person and could only communicate with others
through my husband. Three months later, I decided to go back to
Thailand.
I stayed for eight months in Thailand but was forced to relent after
I saw my husband when he visited me and he looked very sad and
disheartened. My brother-in-law and mother-in-law called me as
well and cried; they pleaded with me to return to Taiwan.
54
Yadrung
I returned to Taiwan in 1999; my husband’s family changed their
behavior and tried to accommodate me. My mother-in-law
suggested that I find some work so that I could be connected
with others outside the house. I first worked at a breakfast store
and spent less time at home, and this gave my mother-in-law less
opportunities to nag me. I changed several jobs and one time I
worked at the salon, where I met one Vietnamese customer, who
was also a marriage migrant and informed me that there was a
Chinese program for marriage migrants at the Yonghe Community
University.This was offered by TASAT which, at that time, had not
yet been formally established.
I enrolled in the Chinese program. Later on, I became the chair of
the club of marriage migrants in theYonghe Community University
and began to attend many activities and take responsibilities. After I
became more active in the Chinese program and the organization,
I had more activities and responsibilities. I became busier than ever
so I quit my job at the breakfast store. My son was only a few
months old at that time and my mother-in-law said that my life
became more stable because I had new friends and attended those
classes.
I lived with my husband’s parents and elder brother who was still
single. Though I could not adjust to life with my new family, I had
no problems with the elder brother, because he did not treat me
like a child or tell me what to do.
Instead, he was very supportive and gave me a computer and films
so I could learn Chinese. Since I attended the Chinese programs
in March, 2002, things began to get better: I became close friends
with some volunteers of the program, with whom I could share
Half the Sky
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and discuss my problems and they would listen and give advice on
how to understand people from different backgrounds and how to
interact with the elderly in the Taiwanese context.
Still, I almost decided to return to Thailand again because of
my husband’s incompetence and indifference to my situation
concerning his family. I saw that my husband lacked the ability
or will to support and help me with my problems and was solely
dependent on his mother to make any decisions. When I talked to
him about not getting along with the other family members, he
only told me to obey the elders. Eventually I stopped telling him
about my problems.
My husband and I began to quarrel frequently. The issues of our
arguments varied. One cause of our arguments was the fact that
we had different views about how to educate our son. Then again
when I shared with him about what I learned from TASAT and
how I was inspired to work with other marriage migrants, he did
not show any appreciation and even did not respect what I was
doing. When I fought back, he became upset and accused me of
disrespecting him.
As a marriage migrant, I faced various challenges. I felt that as a
new member of a new family, I was powerless and I lost my sense
of self. I could not make a decision in the family. No matter how
hard I tried, I still felt like I was an outsider.
My other problems were also practical; for instance, I did not
understand relevant laws and policies. I only learned them after
attending TASAT’s programs, and then I began to understand the
discriminatory essence of Taiwan’s law and policy.
Yadrung
56
Small things like opening a bank account or purchasing train tickets
online had proven very difficult and inconvenient for marriage
migrants. We were treated as foreigners, rather than immigrants
who will make our roots in Taiwan. My curiosity to learn more has
been intensified as my dissatisfaction toward migrants’ condition
grew.
Becoming Empowered
When I first joined TASAT’s former establishments (the Chinese
programs and the club in the Yonghe Community University), I
had no idea what an organization was and what an organization
could do, though the teachers in the Chinese programs explained.
I continued to attend the sessions because I was amazed that a
group of volunteers came to teach them (the Chinese language
and other concepts) without being paid and they were like friends
and family.
In TASAT, we learn many new ideas, not only about how to
educate our children but also to think about what we can do. For
example, after discussions, we decided to organize a program for
children because the members needed daycare service while going
out for the classes. We believed it would be a win-win situation
if TASAT provides daycare service with Southeast Asian cultures
programs for children.
These programs were designed and conducted by marriage
migrants and Taiwanese volunteers in the community university.
We taught Southeast Asian songs, dances and games. Another
example is when TASAT offered classes for Taiwanese people to
learn about Southeast Asian languages and cultures, the members
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felt they became useful persons again. Many things happened
throughout the process. Even when there was a crisis which
almost broke TASAT, the marriage migrants discussed, analyzed,
and decided that we should not give up on running TASAT. We
resolved to keep TASAT alive and that we had to work hard to
strengthen TASAT and make it a better organization.
I myself have had a long and productive history as a member of
TASAT. I enrolled in the Chinese literacy program at the Yonghe
Community University in 2002. After TASAT was formally
established on December 7, 2003, I was elected as one of the
officers. In December 2004, I replaced the former chairperson as
the chair of TASAT (the former chairperson had to resign since
she became TASAT’s part-time staff). I became the part-time staff
of TASAT’s office in Taipei in July 2005 and then became full time
staff in 2007.
TASAT has contributed greatly to the lives of many marriage
migrants. But most importantly, I see TASAT as a mother who
takes care of my needs and empowers me. TASAT also comforts
me when my problems with my family make me feel depressed. I
got my strength back because of TASAT.
I believe that the most valuable achievement of TASAT is to
empower people. Through a long and slow empowerment process,
TASAT made its best effort to make marriage migrants a group
of powerful people that can change their life and others’ through
advocacy work, public education and organizational empowerment.
There is no doubt in my mind that TASAT has helped many
marriage migrants in Taiwan.
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Yadrung
In TASAT, the marriage migrants are given many opportunities to
learn, explore and engage in fields that they are not familiar with,
equipping members with versatile talent. For instance, I never
imagined that I could win any award, but because of TASAT, I
have received several awards and recognition from many people.
I experienced a great transformation after I joined TASAT because
I was encouraged to try many things. Unlike before, I was never
encouraged and always had to be on my own to survive. In TASAT,
I receive so much support.
There are always people in the organization who are prepared to
help other members to cope with their frustrations in life and move
forward. It’s hard to express. If TASAT were a woman, one could
consider her as a heroine. Or if we use the analogy of religion,
TASAT is like a Buddha. If you use family as an analogy, TASAT is
like a mother.TASAT can be many meaningful things in a person’s
life.
TASAT also has different programs and campaigns for different stages.
Earlier, the organization had programs to promote the different
cultures of marriage migrants and some of the members were
trained to become multicultural lecturers. Then the organization
became a primary advocate for immigrant’s issues, and the group
had trainings about issues and how to share issues with the general
public so they could empathize with marriage migrants. In the
process, they saw the different strengths and abilities of different
migrant members so the group was able to develop programs to
help the marriage migrants find their best roles.
In my case, I was very voluble, so my role is to speak to the public
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59
about the migrants’ rights. Some marriage migrants are interested
in theater, so they are given opportunities to advance themselves
in TASAT’S theater group. In short, TASAT gives all kinds of
opportunities for marriage migrants to explore and develop their
interests and strengths. They are also given different roles and
positions in the organization that are the most suitable for their
characteristics and strengths.
While training marriage migrants, TASAT also has programs for
the children, with the same ideals to develop the different skills
of the children and to help them explore their potentials. The
children program does not just provide care for the children, but
it also gives them trainings on the same issues their mothers are
learning. The methods are different from the programs for the
adults, however; for instance, when marriage migrants learn about
media production, the children also learn about how to become
little journalists.
I have many reasons for continuing my involvement in TASAT.
First, I have friends in the organization who have become closer
to me than my own family. Second, I already have responsibilities
in the group; I do not have any far-reaching ambitions to become
famous, but I like having responsibilities to help others. In the
meantime, it has become very important to me to explain to as
many marriage migrants as possible that since unjust policies and
laws are made by people, they can be changed by people as well.
And we are the people so we should change them.
Sometimes I find myself feeling sorry for my lot in life, but when
I see the other sisters in TASAT and other marriage migrants who
do not have the good fortune I have had and the opportunities
Yadrung
60
TASAT provides, I think less about myself and think more about
the plight of others. These sisters need someone to provide them
with opportunities and resources like what I was given, so I think
I can help them even in my little way.
I think that my experiences in TASAT are very rewarding. It is as
simple as that:When I see my marriage migrant sisters visit TASAT
and become satisfied with their lives, I also feel happy. It’s that
simple. I feel more inspired to do more, because the feeling and
emotions are like no other. It does not matter if we sometimes
have conflicts with each other, we never end our friendships. I
used to cut off my relations with my brothers when we had serious
arguments, but in TASAT I have learned to cherish our feelings
and relationships.
Being Sisters
Though we are not biological sisters, we are like a family and we
all know that we should work together to make changes. I have
changed a lot because of TASAT. I used to have very bad temper
and I was not easy to work with.
Now I have learned the importance of developing good
relationships with others. I have learned how to put myself in other
people’s shoes, and I now know how to share my views without
imposing them on others. I admit that I used to lose my temper
easily and to criticize others when they made mistakes, but I have
since learned that this has a bad effect on the organization and so
I changed the way I am.
I also feel that I now have the strength to move forward. Though
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61
there is a lot of frustration, I also have great satisfaction as well.
This satisfaction does not come from concrete achievements, but
the feeling develops little by little every day. For example, the way I
teach my son now is different from the way I was raised by my own
parents. I don’t order him to do things but discuss with him and let
him make the final decisions. I also share with him the things I do
and learn and what happens to me; this is quite unlike my mother
who did not tell me anything. From TASAT I have learned to be
more open about myself.
I also appreciate other people’s recognition. I know I am far from
perfect, but I feel glad that others acknowledge my work in TASAT.
I also felt so happy when my son said he admires me and look up to
what I have been doing. I also want to see other marriage migrants
grow. One of our members Pei-Hsiang Lee used to be like a little
girl, but now she has grown up as a mature organizer. It’s like
observing a little seed planted in the soil that has gradually grown
up and have blossom. So when I feel frustrated, I can control my
emotions and move on when I see how other sisters have grown.
I have an elder sister and a mother in TASAT. One TASAT
volunteer, Shu-hsia, is like my sister. She is very nice to me and
always listens to me and comforts me whenever I feel frustrated or
sad. Hsia is like my mother who also supports me, and guides me
to the right direction. I was never close to my siblings and parents.
I found closeness in TASAT. I feel good about myself, my life and
my work, and I gradually changed the ways I interact with others.
Now I don’t get mad easily when I hear different views or
criticisms. I will listen, try to understand the other side and try
to find ways so that all of us can help each other out and improve
62
Yadrung
things. For instance, I was ill for a few months, but everyone was
very considerate and helped me to do my work and encouraged
me to get better soon.
It was also in TASAT that I first joined a public protest. It was in
2003, and I did not feel afraid because I was with many people,
including the teachers in the Chinese programs. I was inspired by
the strength of the people I was with, seeing all of them united
together for a common cause.
Because of TASAT, I have also experienced international
participation. I had never dreamed it would be possible for me
to go to other countries to represent TASAT to share my views
about social issues. I was amazed how TASAT would give marriage
migrants such as myself so many productive and meaningful
opportunities even though they were not highly educated or could
not fluently communicate in English. I also found myself attending
conferences, fora, meetings and other discussion gatherings where
my co-panelists are professors.
I am not a professor, but I can speak in front of them as an equal
about immigrants’ issues. These experiences and opportunities
cannot be bought by money. I feel very grateful. I told my mother
once, “Your daughter did not have very good education, did not
have much experience, but now I can give a lecture along with
some big professors and government officials.”These opportunities
are given by TASAT. It gives each one of us opportunities to
advance, to move forward.
It would be actually easier if TASAT’s founder Professor Hsia
representsTASAT on her own,but instead she gives the opportunities
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63
to marriage migrants, and she was content to be our interpreter,
which is much more burdensome for her. She represents the true
values and principles of TASAT – she is generous and loyal, and
always willing to help marriage migrants improve themselves. After
we return from attending events abroad, we discuss what we have
learned and what TASAT can do to improve ourselves. I have done
many new things for the first time since I joined TASAT; it has
made me a better person.
Other organizations use marriage migrants to campaign for funds,
but TASAT doesn’t. The marriage migrants are in charge of the
activities, and help each other develop. It’s like everyone has a
leading role in a play. Everyone is a flower and the organization
nurtures every flower to blossom and show their beauty. That’s
why TASAT holds many training sessions, gives opportunities to
marriage migrants to go abroad. In TASAT, we believe that we
should control and decide our own fate, not to let the elites decide
for us and control our fate.
As for the betterment of people’s relationships, I now can raise and
discuss issues openly, rather than gossip informally. When someone
tells me negative comments about others, I ask them to stop and
encourage them to raise the issues in the group openly. “When
you hear criticisms or complaints, do not be affected emotionally.
Rather, think about the criticisms and complaints objectively. If
the criticism is correct, try to improve yourself and what aspect
of your behavior is being singled out. If not, do not be bothered
by it,” I tell them. I learned that people in the organization come
from diverse backgrounds, so each member has to understand their
conditions objectively, rather than misjudge people by seeing only
on the surface.
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Yadrung
I believe all marriage migrants should join TASAT. They will be
able to make friends, so that they will not be alone or isolated.
Otherwise, they can only rely and obey their husbands. They can
discover their real worth, that there is more to their lives than
just caring for children and doing household chores. These are
important things, but they are not the only things that marriage
migrants can do.
They are women who can empower themselves, and they can do
what they aspire to achieve. If they join TASAT, they will find
support and strength; they will learn to develop trust in others, and
become confident in themselves.They will also learn to understand
why society functions the way it does, and what can be done to
change it.
In TASAT, it is not about the position one holds in the organization;
what is important is how each woman can share her views and
experiences with others so that more marriage migrants can
become more active and more mature, and do things independently.
I used to be impatient, but now I realize it takes time to develop
others, so rushing is not helping. I see myself as part of the
organization. If we use a ship as the analogy of the organization,
I am one of the crew; I work together with others to make sure
our ship will not sink or become damaged. We should always
be prepared for any contingencies and emergencies so we can
continue our journey.
There is nothing that I want more than to help make TASAT
a stronger organization. I want to encourage more and more
marriage migrants to join TASAT.
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TASAT is a place where people can learn, make good friends, gain
support and strength and make life-changing personal decisions.
The future of TASAT is not just a few concrete projects and
programs, it is what it does to marriage migrants – help them
become stronger, more critical, more analytical people who have
the will and the ability to improve their situation in life and help
society in the process.
66
Gyeongju, Seoul
Half the Sky
photo taken by Rey Asis
67
South Korea
68
A
ccording to the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and
Development (2012), more than half of permanent migration flows
to South Korea were from marriage migration. Based on the Korean
Statistic Bureau in 2013, the number of marriage migrants has doubled in ten
years - from 10,698 in 2002 to 20,637 in 2012.
The top three home countries of marriage migrants in South Korea are Mainland
China,Vietnam and the Philippines.While initiatives have been taken by various
institutions and organizations to extend assistance to them, two of them have
endeavored to organize the women - EMBRACE and TERESA.
TERESA
EMBRACE
TERESA, or the Togetherness of the
Enlightened Women for Reforms, Equality,
Sustainability and Action, is a grassroots
organization based in Seoul, Korea that unites
women diaspora – the marriage migrants,
migrant wokers and advocates -- in pursuit for
gender, economic and political justice.
The Empowered, Bonded Women, Responding,
Acting for Common Endeavors (EMBRACE)
is an organization originally formed by the
Filipino marriage migrants located in the cities
of Hwaseong and Osan of Gyeonggido province
of South Korea. The organization was formerly
named HANFIL in 2008. It got its new name
only in August 2012, and its membership now
includes women migrant workers.
TERESA was formally launched on August
15, 2010 and named in honor of Teresa
Magbanua, a Filipino revolutionary who
defended the island of Panay, Philippines against
the Spanish and American forces. It is taking up
local and global issues that impacting women
and all peoples, and campaigning against racist
immigration policies, exploitative labor laws
and modern-day slavery. And it is committed to
working for women’s empowerment, recognition,
promotion, and protection of the rights and
interests of women, and strengthening the
women’s movement around the globe.
TERESA is also a member of the
International Women’s Alliance (IWA) which
is a global alliance of grassroots-based women’s
organizations, institutions, alliances, networks
and individuals for liberation.
EMBRACE advocates for women’s issues,
educates women about their rights and
encourages them to fight for their rights. It
addresses various forms of violence too many
have experienced such as domestic violence,
discrimination, abuse, human trafficking, etc.
It makes its presence known to the immediate
localities through participation in the multicultural activities initiated by the local
government, a way to awaken the public to the
fact that marriage migrants (who composed the
majority of members) can be of help not only in
the families but also in the society.
Half the Sky
Jia Jia
Finding Strength
in Being with Others
69
70
Jia Jia
My ajuma, my fellow Chinese friends, the local
people in my community – they were the ones that
made my life in Korea a lot easier.
My name is Jia Jia. I’m 35 years old. I married a Korean man when
I was 29.
I came from a village in China, an agricultural area which we were
able to cultivate to produce different food crops. All the families
in our village had their own houses and never lacked food. All our
needs were provided for.
There came a time in my life when I felt like being adventurous. I
became curious about what lay beyond our village. I left the village
and went to the city where I made new friends and acquaintances.
It took a lot of courage for me to leave the familiar and seemingly
secure environment and to embrace new experiences, learn new
skills and adopt a new lifestyle. A friend introduced my future
husband to me. It was called a “referral”. It was precisely because
he wanted to get married that he went to China; he learned that
it would not be difficult for him to find a wife. After we met, I
decided that I would marry him.
My husband is employed in a service sector company. We live
separately from my in-laws. We have one child, a four-year old
girl and she has already started school. As for myself, I work
in a factory near my daughter’s school. My husband’s and my
combined income are enough for our needs as a family.
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It took four years before I became a naturalized citizen. I applied
for citizenship during my second year in Korea. It’s a good thing
that they did not make me take the Korean language test. At the
time, language efficiency among migrants was not yet a strict
requirement, unlike now. It seemed like the immigration officer
was able to establish that my husband and I lived under the same
roof. This is why they didn’t make it too hard for me to gain
Korean citizenship, but it still took quite a while for me to become
naturalized.
Living outside my own country is a great challenge that I as a
marriage migrant must take seriously. Adjusting to another culture
and language is not easy.
My beginnings in South Korea were daunting, and there were
times when I felt very lonely. What did I do to keep myself sane
during my early years in Korea? I developed a social support
system.
First, I worked hard to reach out to other Chinese in Korea.
Thankfully, one of my neighbors was also Chinese. Then I made
friends with them, and also with a few local people. After a while,
I developed friendships with some individuals in whom I could
trust. I found that confiding in close friends greatly helped me to
overcome personal difficulties.
There was one ajuma (a middle aged Korean woman) whom I
could never forget. She was the one who introduced me to a
group of Chinese who belonged to the same faith community.
This is the same community to which I and my family belong up
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Jia Jia
to now. I am very glad and very grateful to have met all of them.
Some of them came to Korea as students, migrant workers and
spouses to Koreans like myself.
Engaging with people with the same culture and background is
very comforting to me, and meeting them on unfamiliar ground
enhances one’s feeling of security.
I am very grateful that I have supportive relationships. My social
support network of friends makes me more resilient in times of
stress; they help me to be emotionally stronger. In this network, I
know people who can provide me information, guidance, counsel,
advice, and even tangible support. These friends listen to my fears,
hopes and dreams. They help me conquer my fears, help me gain
wisdom and give me strength to face life situations.
My deepest desire is that this social support system continues to
develop and never end. I hope this group advances because all of
its members are kind and compassionate, willing to help those of
us in need. We give each other strength, and all our lives are made
better because we have each other.
Half the Sky
Charlene
Embracing Her New Life
in South Korea
73
74
Charlene
I find meaning in my daughter and the many
marriage migrants in South Korea who have also
lived through a hard life with me. My story is for
them.
My name is Charlene*. I am 41 years old and I live in South
Korea. I have an accounting degree from a prestigious university
and successfully passed the competitive civil service professional
examination in my home country Philippines, earning me
professional merit there.
My five siblings and I grew up in “a domestic work free” and “a
non-land tiller” family. My parents hired somebody who did the
daily household chores, and our small field was made productive
through the hard work of other people whom my parents paid.
They did not allow us to work on the farm, my mother in
particular. They wanted all of us to focus on our academic studies
and finish school so that we would have good lives in the future.
After graduation, I got a job as an accounting clerk on a contractual
basis in a government office. I wasn’t happy about it however;
what I really wanted was to go abroad and work there. I wanted a
high-paying job, and I first wanted to go to Canada. I wasn’t able
to go there because I didn’t have money for fare and the travel
requirements, so instead I went to Singapore where my expenses
would be considerably less. I worked in Singapore for two years as
a domestic worker, and when my contract ended, I went to Hong
Kong where I also worked as a domestic worker.
I was 26 years old when I worked in Hong Kong, and at the
*For reasons of security, we decided to change the name of Charlene and not place her picture.
Half the Sky
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time I already thought that I was getting old. I already wanted
to get married and to raise my own children. I met a woman in
Hong Kong who was matched with a Korean man, and I thought
that she looked happy. She was the one who encouraged me to
join the relationship matching process. I became interested in
meeting someone through matching venues, but I didn’t want
to be matched with a Korean, I wanted to meet an American. I
submitted an application form with my photo attached to it so I
could join the matching process. I also paid a few Hong Kong
dollars and after a few months, a result came out. I was matched
with a Korean man.
Becoming a Marriage Migrant
Finding my match through the Unification Church was convenient
in Hong Kong. This church which is also known as the Moonies
Church, (a Korean church founded by Rev. Moon) recruits
foreigners, mostly Asian women, and matches them to Korean
men. Many women like me were married in a mass wedding
all at the same time; the Moonies called the ceremony a “mass
blessing”. I married somebody I didn’t know, and I had never
even seen him before the ceremony. I was unaware of his social
and economic background; I didn’t know if he was psychologically
fit. I didn’t even have an idea of what he looked like, whether he
was handsome or not.
I learned soon enough after we were married that our age
difference was very small. He didn’t say anything about how much
he spent on the whole match-making process. While I waited for
my papers to come through so I can leave Hong Kong for South
Korea, I prepared myself for my new life by studying the Korean
76
Charlene
language. I learned a few basic Korean phrases and words. I also
sought to get advice from another marriage migrant who was also
matched by the Moonies and who had lived in Korea. I think
the church gave her authority to offer advice to women in Hong
Kong who had been matched for marriage with Korean men. By
then I had already spent four years in Hong Kong working as a
domestic worker.
As a new couple, we lived in the house of my mother-in-law,
my sister-in-law and her daughter. I dealt not only with my
foreign husband but also with my in-laws. I struggled to speak
their language and to understand their culture, and it was so hard.
They couldn’t understand me, and I couldn’t understand them. I
saw that we were all very different, and that the things I liked and
enjoyed were different from what they found to be enjoyable. In
the meantime, because the family was poor, I couldn’t enroll in
any language school to formally learn the Korean language, and
at the time I didn’t know where I could go and learn it for free.
I was uncertain about where my husband really worked. His family
said that he was a driver, and that he chauffeured for the workers
of a company. I wondered why he didn’t keep a regular schedule.
Sometimes he would leave the house at five in the afternoon
and return past one in the morning. Then there would be other
times that he would leave at 4pm, and then come home at 7am.
Sometimes he would come home only to change clothes. I felt
that my husband kept the real nature of his job a secret from me.
I didn’t know why.
I stayed in the house for a few months as a newly-wed and I got
very bored. There was a television, but all the shows were in
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Korean. My mother-in-law would sometimes work in the small
farm that they had, but I couldn’t help her because I wasn’t used
to that kind of work. I told my husband that I wanted to work
so that I could earn my own money. I told him that if he didn’t
let me work, I would leave him and return to the Philippines. He
agreed to let me work, and I found employment in a company
that produced mobile phones. I worked in an assembly line. I
became very happy that I had work. I was already used to being
employed and making my own money.
When my sister-in-law learned that I was working in a factory, she
also applied for a job there. I had a feeling that she only went there
so she could monitor my whereabouts. There was an instance
when my husband said that he would pick me up after work at
the factory with his car, but his sister said that she and I should
go home together instead. I was not able to say ‘no’ to her. My
husband became angry because he didn’t get his way and he said
that I disobeyed him. I felt I had no control over my own life; I
couldn’t freely move!
Then my husband said that he wanted us to have a child. He
accused me of just wanting to work and earn money instead
of being a good wife and mother. “If you are not going to get
pregnant, I will not let you get a visa or I will not let you renew
your visa”, he told me. I cried when he said this to me, I cried and
cried! I realized that if I didn’t get pregnant, I would get kicked
out of Korea; I would become an undocumented migrant and I
might as well be forced to return home to the Philippines. I felt
very bad about what he said, so I agreed to what he wanted and I
eventually got pregnant.
Charlene
78
Hardships and Problems
Slowly I learned the real character of my husband; I already learned
why he wanted to have a foreigner for a wife. It turned out
that it was his mother who really wanted him to get married to a
foreigner so he would no longer leave her house. My mother-inlaw said that he had left once before. He was the youngest of six
children, and his mother wanted him to stay with her even if he
had his own family. When I gave birth, my sister-in-law together
with her daughter joined her husband in Japan.
On the sixth month of my child, we left the house of my motherin-law. She and my husband could no longer tolerate one another.
My mother-in-law had lost all control over her son. She could no
longer stop him from becoming a full-blown alcoholic, and being
away from home oftentimes. He was always out and I didn’t know
where he stayed or what he did. I lost all my faith in him. I started
to believe that he had been seeing other women. He didn’t treat
me well, he didn’t give me respect, and he became very abusive.
He would slap me in the face whenever he got angry, and he
would tell me hurtful, abusive things. Sometimes he would even
threaten my life.
My husband forced me to have sex even when I did not want to.
He became very angry whenever I refused him.
Very early one morning, I think it was around 4am and I was
sound asleep, he came into the room, woke me up and said that
he wanted to have sex. I refused. He became furious and took a
blanket and pushed it on my face, all the time yelling “Do you
want to die?” I mustered all the strength I could and forced myself
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to get up and pushed him away. I shouted out to God and cried.
He slapped me again hard. I moved away from him and stood near
the bedroom door while he sat on the bed. He kept telling me
to come to him, but I stood firm. He stayed on the bed until he
eventually lay down and fell asleep.
It was very fortunate that our child was with her grandmother.
The next day, to avoid a repeat of the violence, I gave in to him
and had sex, but I made him use a condom. I told him why I didn’t
want to have sex with him the night before—that I was afraid that
he had been sleeping around and that he might have contracted a
sexually transmitted disease. I told him that I had observed that he
had symptoms of an STD. I told him that he should go a doctor,
but I never knew if he ever went.
This incident was followed by more similar incidents. One early
morning he again came to me and told me that he wanted to
have sex. When I refused him, he became angry and went to the
kitchen. I grew afraid and immediately followed him, and I saw
that he went to the cupboard and took out a knife.
I walked up to him and started to speak softly while I put my
hands on his shoulders to calm him down. He was smoking a
cigarette. He didn’t say anything, and I could tell that he was
still angry. I pretended to look out the window and sigh, but I
actually looked at my clothes drying on the clothesline. I made
him calm down and when he left to go to the bedroom to sleep,
I immediately packed a bag and left. I was so afraid and in such a
rush that I forgot about my child. I returned and got my daughter
and left again, scared that my husband would wake up.
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Charlene
I directly went to a church and sought help. They left me and my
daughter to stay in a corner of the church. Soon after, my husband
sent me text message: “Why did you leave the house? I am going
to kill you.” As I read that, I made up my mind to never return to
him. I told myself that I was done being his wife, and I was leaving
him permanently.
I had a very difficult married life. I lived under appalling conditions
with my estranged husband. I stayed with him for seven years.
I suffered from domestic violence, sexual and verbal abuse, and
exploitation. I never wanted our marriage to end in divorce and
to have my child grow up the product of a broken family, but I
could no longer bear staying with the man I married. My child
has long been the source of my strength and inspiration; she has
always been my reason to work hard and to struggle. I now work
as a teacher in a private institute and my income is very small.
I kept all my sufferings from my family. I didn’t want them to find
out about my bitter experiences as a marriage migrant in Korea.
I did not want them to worry about me. Apart from the church
people who I first sought for help, I also asked help from other
marriage migrants. They were members of the local women’s
organization which I also joined. Some local Korean women also
helped me. They all gave me good advice and counsel on how I
could survive with my child; they taught me to know all about
my rights. I knew that I needed help to increase my chances of
survival. I turned to people with whom I felt safe, respected and
accepted.
I am one of the founding members of our organization. We started
by first being a group that celebrated birthdays together as well as
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holidays like Christmas. During the gatherings and in between,
we would tell each other our life stories and share our experiences
about life in Korea as migrants and immigrants. We shared each
other’s pain and happiness; we made each other strong, and helped
one another recover from events that made us weak. It helped us
to learn that none of us were alone, especially those among us like
myself who suffered domestic violence and abuse.
We saw that there was a need to build a formal organization
for marriage migrants so that we could further strengthen our
network to provide assistance. With the help of various advocates
for migrant rights, we formally established our organization in
2008. I became the public information officer (PIO), and then
eventually became the vice-chairperson.
Embracing a New Life
One of the best experiences I had when I joined EMBRACE
was when I was encouraged by some members who were close
to me and a few Korean women advocates who were with us to
speak out and break the silence surrounding the cases of violence.
I spoke out and they helped me to identify the aspects of my life
that I wanted to change. They acted as my helpers or counselors
during the time when I felt so distressed and anxious because I was
uninformed about my rights and the laws and policies in Korea,
especially during the period when my divorce was being processed.
It took me quite some time before I finally made up my mind to
file for divorce because I was very afraid that the court would not
give me custody of my daughter. I turned to the other members of
my organization for aid so that I could cope with the emotional,
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Charlene
mental and physical stresses that deeply hurt my integrity as a
person.
Our organization has a cultural program. It is a multicultural
education program that is conducted through cultural dance
presentations. It is our small contribution to the multiculturalism
program of the Korean government. Dancing is a stress reducing
activity for me. Practicing and performing Philippine folk dances
are also therapeutic for me.
It was such an honor to perform Philippine folk dances in front
of local Korean citizens and members of various sectors in society.
We performed in schools, theaters and other public places. We
wore beautiful costumes that were made in the Philippines.
Through these dance performances, we were able to introduce
our national identity, and in the process we also affirmed who we
were as persons in our own right.
EMBRACE organization joined in an international women’s
campaign that for me was very life-changing. We joined the One
Billion Rising (OBR) campaign that included one billion women
all over the world dancing against violence against women. We
joined in solidarity with women around the globe demanding an
end to violence against women and children. It was very moving!
As we practiced the dance, we learned the shocking reality that
“one in three women or girls on the planet will be raped or beaten
in her lifetime”. Violence against women should be stopped, and
our organization stands united with one women’s organization
to demand justice for all victims of VAW. We join campaigns on
issues affecting migrants, immigrants and refugees. We also stand
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with those who struggle to put an end to discriminatory laws and
policies.
Our group has an education program as well. Last year, a Korean
advocate came and gave us an update on the immigration policies
of Korea and posed a challenge for us to know more about our
rights as marriage migrants, including the rights of our children,
and to fight for the advancement of such rights. We also have a
training program on peer counseling. We have held two sessions
so far and there will still be one more. We hope to hold more such
trainings in the coming years.
These training activities aim to train and develop peer counselors.
I’ve found the training sessions very interesting and useful, and
I am very grateful to have been given the opportunity to attend
them. This will be followed by a lecture series on the history of
Korea which I believe will help us deepen our understanding of
Korean society. Hopefully these training seminars will also help us
develop a more effective and adaptive behavior.
We give importance to rest and recreation too. We go out as a
group with our children and go to places where we can relax and
rest after a whole week of working in factories, schools and other
work places. These gatherings that include picnics are usually held
during the summer vacation.
We also have plans as an organization to reach out to other
marriage migrants, to listen to their life stories, and extend help
to them when needed. We will also encourage them to join with
our organization in our activities, and together we will develop a
stronger unity in the pursuit for a better society.
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Charlene
I hope I could find a better job with decent pay in the future so
I can ensure that the basic needs of my daughter are met, and I
can help others who are in need, too. I’m planning to change
my job or workplace soon. I have to work harder for a living
especially because my child is growing up, and I have to provide
for her growing needs. I receive monthly financial support for
my child from the Korean government, but of course the fund
is not enough. The prices of basic commodities and services
are rising; rent is becoming more expensive, but my salary isn’t
increasing. Also, I have plans to move to another house that is
more convenient for me and my teenaged child.
As an officer of my organization I would like to be a good helper
or a responsible peer counselor to the marriage migrants, most
especially to the young ones who are new in South Korea and new
to our organization. I want to establish a life-giving relationship
to some of them if not all.
Teramachi, Kyoto
Half the Sky
photo taken by Rey Asis
85
Japan
86
A
round 19,000 of the 26,000 international marriages in Japan were
between a Japanese groom and a foreign bride in 2011, states the Japan
Statistics Bureau in 2012.
Domestic violence, isolation from society, restrictive laws to marry for some
prospective marriage migrants and the concerns of Japanese-fathered children are
among the many issues that marriage migrants face in Japan. One organization
of marriage migrants aims to address them, KAFIN-Hanno, or the Kalipunan
ng mga Filipinong Nagkakaisa sa Hanno (Association of United Filipinos in
Hanno).
KAFIN-Hanno
KAFIN – Hanno is a grassroots formation of migrants Japan (predominantly
marriage migrants) committed to advance the rights and welfare of migrants in
Japan and protect them against all forms of violence, abuse, exploitation and
discrimination. It works hand-in-hand with other grassroots organizations of
migrants, non-government organizations and migrant support groups to uplift
their condition and to reject state policies that condone and perpetuate their
marginalization in society.
Half the Sky
Agalyn
Building Unity among
Migrants in Japan
87
88
Agalyn
The lessons I learned in my activism in the
Philippines have brought me strength in helping
myself and others.
I am Agalyn Salah Nagase, 51 years old from General Santos,
Mindanao in the Philippines.
I was a church worker from 1983-1995. I have three brothers and
five sisters. I am the fourth sister. I started working in the farm at
age of seven.
I belong to a family of activists and organizers who were in deep
poverty. At 15, I was already helping in organizing people at the
evacuation center in my area. We put up a day-care center for
mother and child in the biggest evacuation center in General
Santos City in 1978. At 20 years old, I worked at the Mindanao
Christian Foundation as a church worker. But due to poverty, I
relied on my foreign friends as benefactors who helped me pursue
higher education.
Because of the decades-long conflict in Mindanao, it can be said
that my entire family grew up in evacuation centers in General
Santos City because we were always on the run from the military
fighting with Muslim rebels.
We survived by working as banana plantation workers. We sold
newspapers, became house helpers and street vendors, and put up
small stores to get by. I also used to work in a restaurant and as a
house helper while pursuing my education.
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Life as a Marriage Migrant
I met my husband in Manila when he joined the Japanese fact
finding mission in Mindanao as interpreter of the group. I was
working for the Lumad and Moro people of Saranggani, while my
husband worked with the Aetas in Zambales. I was introduced to
him by Japanese friends, Chie Aoi and Natsuko Hozumi. We met
in 1992 and got married in 1995.
In my first year in Japan as a married woman, I lived in a dormitory
of the Asian Rural Institute in Tochigi and studied alternative
electricity and organic farming, while my husband was in Sri
Lanka doing research for a year about official development aid
(ODA). I felt bad when I was there because we were treated like
slaves inside the compound.
Since we didn’t know the Japanese language, we were not allowed
to leave the compound. We had to work every day in the farm.
One time we issued a complaint, but the institute did not attend
to us.
We launched a strike by not attending the class.The administration
initiated a dialogue and explained why we were prohibited from
going outside the compound. It turned out that in the previous
year many students ran away from the dorm and hid with friends
outside; they worked in Japan and they did not return home after
they finished their degree.
Eventually, my husband and I lived by ourselves in an old mansion
owned by our friend for 11 years until we decided to build our own
house and move to Hanno City in Saitama Prefecture. However,
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Agalyn
we regularly visited my husband’s parents in Gifu Prefecture where
they managed a small inn for visitors.
As a marriage migrant, I had to make many adjustments. I knew
what my husband was like even before we got married because we
were in a relationship for three years before we tied the knot.
Still, our familiarity with each other was not enough to prevent
challenges from arising in our relationship. Because we belong
to two entirely different cultures, we had personal differences
that sometimes led to arguments. We both had the tendency to
always insist on our respective customs and beliefs, but I would not
consider them as major clashes.
I am lucky because my husband espouses liberal ideas and has
extensive experience outside Japan because he had already gone
to different countries like the Philippines, Turkey, and many in
Africa, Latin America and throughout the Asia Pacific. Somehow
this helped, especially during my first years in Japan as a marriage
migrant.
Outside the house, of course, there are much bigger challenges. I
didn’t speak the language at all so it was a big challenge dealing with
other members of my immediate community. I struggled in almost
every aspect of my day-to-day life. Going to the supermarket alone
was a big challenge if you cannot communicate and couldn’t read
anything in kanji, or the modern Japanese writing system.
I look very Southeast Asian and naturally, people in my immediate
community tended to be curious about me. There would be
quick glances, sometimes stoic stares, but I didn’t mind them in
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the beginning. There were also some very awkward moments
when I could not understand a single sentence a person would be
telling me. I was also shouted at several times because I did things
considered to be no-nos to the Japanese like answering calls inside
a moving bus and lining up on the wrong side in an elevator. I
also experienced being rejected because I could not explain what
I wanted to say. There were times when I got pushed and shoved
in train stations without receiving so much as a “sorry” or “excuse
me”.
I thought I was Asian, and this was why those who bumped into
me didn’t bother to apologize. Ordinary Japanese always say
“gomen” (sorry) every time they did something unexpected to a
fellow Japanese. I thought these were acts of discrimination against
me because I was not Japanese.
Still, these are minor experiences compared to experiences of
many other marriage migrants in Japan. Some other Japanese
people I met asked me if I met my husband in the club or if I went
through an arranged marriage or “omiyay kenkon” in Japanese.
This is because of the image created on Filipino women living and
working in Japan – either they met their Japanese husbands in the
club or were mail-order brides.
I am lucky because my husband is not the typical Japanese who
would force their wives to do all things the Japanese way. At home,
I can cook anything I want and my husband also tries to appreciate
anything Filipino. So there were no issues about culture in my
house and we have division of labor inside the house.
Agalyn
92
Becoming Empowered
When I came to Japan and began to live as a wife of a Japanese,
I had a lot of adjustment to do. I knew no one in the immediate
community. I had Japanese friends whom I knew way back when
I was in the Philippines, but they lived far from where I was and
communication was not that easy.
I didn’t speak the language and I mostly stayed at home and some
times in the library near our place to get information from the
Philippine Daily Inquirer news website on what was happening
in my country. Homesickness and loneliness took their toll on me,
so I decided to take the time to go around the community to see
if there were other Filipinos. I was surprised because I found that
wherever I went, there were Filipinos – in the supermarket, in the
park and at train and bus stations.
I got to talk to some of them, and through our conversations, I
learned about their sad stories and the problems they encountered
as wives to Japanese men. I met a Filipina who was a victim of
domestic violence; I met trafficked entertainers and Filipino men
who were being exploited in the factories where they worked.
These motivated me to form KAFIN or the Kalipunan ng mga
Filipinong Nagkakaisa (Association of United Filipinos) in 1998.
It started as a neighborhood organization mainly for women, but
eventually expanded to include Filipino men who were having
problems in their places of employment.
KAFIN evolved from a simple neighborhood association into a
resource and service center for migrant Filipinos in the Saitama
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Prefecture. Later, it expanded and formed chapters in other parts
of Japan, such as Nagoya, Nagano,Yokohama, Osaka, Akishima and
Gunma and now in Hanno. I was encouraged to form KAFIN
because of the many problems faced by migrants in Japan. Having
been involved in activism while I was still in the Philippines, it
came somewhat naturally for me to want to help disadvantaged
compatriots.
It was easier for me at that time because I had nothing to do. I
only stayed at home and had no regular employment. In other
words, I had plenty of time and was just starting a family. I was also
encouraged by my Japanese husband who was a long-time active
NGO volunteer.
Also, luckily my husband’s parents understood my desire to help
and serve my fellow Filipinos in need, and they volunteered
to financially support my travelling allowance. I felt I could do
something to ease the sufferings of the many Filipinos I met every
day. It was a call of duty, so to speak. I was a willing soul to help.
As a resource and service center, we provide education programs
for our kababayans (fellow Filipino nationals) to inform them of
important considerations of migrant life in Japan, including laws
and practices that may help them in their day-to-day life. We also
rescue migrants in distress, offer counseling and welfare programs
for distressed and disadvantaged migrants.We put up an office near
the train stations so people can easily access our services.
Our basic thrust is to alleviate the condition of Filipino migrants
in Japan. We offer alternative programs to empower them and to
assist them whenever they encounter problems. We have specific
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Agalyn
programs for women migrants, particularly marriage migrants
because majority of Filipinos in Japan are women, and a large
percentage of these women are either marriage migrants or single
parents to Japanese-Filipino children.
Having KAFIN been recognized all over Japan as a center genuinely
promoting the rights and welfare of migrants, in general, is perhaps
one of the highlights of my experience as an organizer. It inspires
and encourages our members that our organization is recognized
in the community.
Since I founded KAFIN, I have been its coordinator. Up to the
present, KAFIN remains very active in its work to provide support
to migrant Filipinos. It even expanded to some extent by helping
migrants of other nationalities as well.
Aside from KAFIN, I am also the vice chairperson of GABRIELA
Japan, a Filipino women migrant organization that promotes the
rights and wellbeing of Filipino women and not only in Japan but
everywhere else in the world. We try to link up with women’s
organizations in Japan to highlight issues and concerns about
women, including marriage migrants.
KAFIN is also a partner of MIGRANTE Japan, an alliance of
Filipino migrant organizations. As a partner, we provide support to
strengthen the chapters of MIGRANTE in service areas through
education, information dissemination and capability-building
programs. Our thrust is to empower grassroots organizations
so they can stand on their own and develop their own welfare
programs.
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It is always a liberating experience to connect with people around
you. Japan was insulated from the outside world for a long time.
Even now, many Japanese tend to isolate themselves from others.
There was even a time when I didn’t know my next-door neighbor
because she always evaded me every time I tried to introduce
myself to her. Her door was always closed and she never went
out whenever I was also outside the house. I don’t think she was
personally discriminating against me. I think she was just a typical
Japanese who doesn’t easily trust others and who feels better when
left alone by themselves.
Having an organization where members can gather anytime they
want provided much relief from the stresses of day-to-day living
in Japan. It gives you a great feeling knowing that there are people
around you whom you can trust and run to when you need them.
It also gives you confidence and empowers you to have a group
of people who share your beliefs and consider the same concerns
important. It is like having an extended family that can provide
you with support any time you need it.
The Challenges We Face
Still, there are many challenges to maintaining an organization.
The first challenge is how to encourage fellow migrants to join
the organization and become active in the community. In the
beginning, we just held sharing and problem-solving sessions to
encourage those who had immediate problems or issues. Then,
we tried to expand by encouraging those we met in the streets,
supermarkets, hospitals and other places around the community.
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Agalyn
Helping those with immediate concerns was a big challenge
because we lacked resources and we didn’t have a space where we
could gather and talk. I did counseling in the park or coffee shops
for more than a year until we finally secured a small place which
up to now remains our headquarters.
I also had bad encounters with fellow volunteers whose style of
work clashed with my own or those of the others at the center. But
we tried to resolve the differences collectively and through formal
meetings. One time I had a serious problem with a volunteer, I
got so stressed that I decided to fly home to Mindanao and stayed
there for three months. I realized that it was not the right thing to
do because I was only prolonging the problem instead of finding
ways to resolve it.
Once I was back in Japan, I decided to address the problem and we
were able to resolve the differences somehow. I suppose, once in a
while, there would be differences of ideas and style of work among
members and volunteers. But the important thing I learned is that
members should address these problems collectively in a positive
environment. If it cannot be resolved immediately, then maybe we
should find another time to take it up again. But the relationship
between members should not be affected; most especially the work
of the organization.
I also learned that there should be programs to develop members of
the organization and that there should also be time for “bonding”
so that each person gets to know the others better.
It is easier to work together if you know each other very well. It will
help encourage members to become active. Most importantly, the
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role of every member in the organization should be well defined.
Every member has to feel the importance of their work no matter
how big or small it may be. They need to feel that they are part of
the organization and that feeling alone gives them satisfaction and
reason to continue.
Lessons from the Organization
Forming KAFIN has taught me many things. I discovered that
there are many things that in the past I thought I couldn’t do. I also
learned the importance of collective power; that my voice can be
stronger when I speak with the support of many others. I realized
that I can help change anything if I work with people and share
common objectives with them.
Joining the organization also broadened my appreciation of life in
Japan as a marriage migrant. I learned that I am not alone and that
I can do many things even if I were not Japanese as long as I put
my heart and soul to it and work alongside others.
I stand taller now having joined an organization that has a clear
mission and goals. Our perspective is to see the future far better
than now for the millions of migrants in Japan, especially marriage
migrants. This can happen if all of us will unite and pursue our
common goals.
Organizing marriage migrants is more difficult than organizing
indigenous people back in the Philippines. Here, you have to
contend with people from varied cultural backgrounds. The
people we seek to organize are marriage migrants and they have to
perform serious roles as wives and mothers. Their work at home
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Agalyn
is often too demanding that they barely have time to go out and
spend time for themselves, much less join organizations. But this is
the challenge, of course. It takes painstaking efforts to make them
realize how important it is to come together and have a common
voice in the community.
Joining an Organization Can Help Marriage Migrants
Joining an organization is like having a support system. Marriage
migrants live away from their families and friends back home; an
organization like ours helps to empower marriage migrants and
give them opportunities to know themselves better and discover
their capabilities especially when they feel helpless in times of
problems at home, in the community and even in the workplace.
It is like having a second family who will be there for you and
understand you no matter what. An organization provides doors
and windows that are hard to find, not even in your own embassy.
Most importantly, joining an organization is empowering especially
because I believe that marriage migrants can have a real voice if
they speak out as one. I will continue my role as coordinator of
KAFIN for as long as I can. I cannot handle everything by myself
so I have focused on building the capacity of marriage migrants in
this part of Japan and to develop networks that can help us address
the burgeoning issues that affect our community.
I plan to expand the programs of the center and establish cooperative
relationships with migrants of other nationalities. My wish is also
to encourage more cooperative action among marriage migrants
of different nationalities. After all, they share common issues and
common problems. They have a common struggle that they must
wage continuously together.
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Also, there is a need to create more room for cooperation
among service providers and NGOs advocating migrants’ rights,
particularly marriage migrants’ rights.This network of NGOs must
start working outside the framework of support, but they should
allow themselves to be instruments of strengthening migrant
communities. This I believe is the true essence of empowerment.
We empower migrants and not make them dependent on our
services.
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Half the Sky
101
Zeny
Finding Herself
After a Difficult Marriage
102
Zeny
There are many challenges in our lives but we can
solve them if we learn to stand up and help each
other.
I am a 35 year old native from Mainland China and my name is
Zeny*.
I am just an ordinary rural girl who was brought up by my parents
who are farmers. I went to school in a local public elementary and
when I reached high school, I was asked by an aunt to move to her
place in a city some 17 hours away by bus from where my family
lived. My aunt promised that she would support me as I continued
my schooling there, but things changed when my uncle died.
I had no choice except to stay with my aunt and find work in the
city; either that or return to my hometown. Life in my hometown
is very simple, but very hard. No one will go hungry if they
work hard; this was not, however, the kind of life that I wanted
for myself. I wanted to experience new things and I wanted to
meet more people. In my hometown, we had neighbors whose
children also went to the city to find other jobs away from farming.
I wanted to follow in their footsteps and be successful.
So I decided to stay in the city. For more than three years, I worked
in a restaurant as dishwasher, server and assistant cook all at the
same time. I stayed in the owner’s place beside the restaurant for a
while before I decided to join a co-worker and we rented a small
room in a house nearby.
Then I decided to change work after I was convinced by the niece
*For reasons of security, we decided to change the name of Zeny and not place her picture.
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of my landlady to try working in a factory that made fish crackers.
I stayed there for only eight months because I couldn’t stand the
smell of the fish: I could still smell it even after I went home and
took a shower.
For almost four years, I did not see my parents. Life was very
difficult for me and my family back in China.
Becoming a Marriage Migrant
I went back to my hometown for a while to visit my parents after
not seeing them for almost four years. That was in the summer
of 1998 and I was already 20 years old. I met a recruiter who
sent workers to Shanghai. I became interested in being recruited.
I went to Shanghai and worked there as a waitress in a restaurant.
There I met my husband, a Japanese businessman. He asked me
to go out one time and I found him very nice, educated and very
respectful. I was drawn to him because even after he left for Japan,
he would constantly call me and send me gifts and money. Our
relationship went on for almost a year until he surprised me by
showing up without any word or notice at all. Right there and
then he proposed marriage.
I know nothing much about Japan so I never thought of getting
married to a Japanese man and living here, but I was sure of my
feelings toward my husband I brought him to my hometown
to meet my parents and to introduce him to my community. I
had already decided to marry him and live in Japan. When I got
married, I was 23 years old, while my husband was already 47 years
old. It took more than six months before I could join my husband
in Japan.
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I never asked about my husband’s family background. It was only
when I arrived in Japan that I learned he was once married, but
is divorced and had two children who were old enough to be my
younger brother and sister. I also didn’t know that he still lived
with his parents, and that their house was in the far northern part
of Japan. My only notion of Japan was a country with very high
buildings like Shanghai and Beijing, although I had not been to
Beijing.
Life in the beginning was okay, except that language was very
difficult. Although the Chinese and Japanese languages shared
similar characters, the meanings are quite different, particularly the
katakana and hiragana. The spoken language, of course, is strange
to me, but somehow we managed.
My father-in-law was a kind man, but my mother-in-law was very
aloof. She didn’t say too much in front of me, but I knew that she
talked a lot behind my back. In the beginning, I thought it was
just part of the problem being unable to communicate. However,
I found out later that my mother-in-law actually didn’t approve of
me as her daughter-in-law.
The first couple of years were okay because everyone in the family
mostly kept to themselves. One good thing about the house where
we lived was that it was big -- it had three rooms upstairs and
another two rooms downstairs where my husband and I stayed,
while his son by his first wife occupied the other room.
I tried to adapt to the conditions at home where almost all decisions
were made by my okasan (mother-in-law). Still, everything I did
was just not good enough for her. After awhile, the animosity
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grew and she started to curse at me, maligned me and made me
feel inadequate for her son and his family. In the beginning, my
husband would take my side, but later he just couldn’t’ bend on his
mother’s wishes anymore my husband and I started to argue often.
I think it was my inability to learn the language fast that also
contributed to the worsening situation. I felt everyone in the house
was ganging up on me, even my husband’s children. No day would
pass without us having an argument.
Then one time my husband slapped me because I raised my voice
in front of his mother. I was probably at fault because I was a bit
disrespectful of his mother, but I think that was not a reason to
discard me like a worn-out rag. My relationship with my motherin-law deteriorated further. My husband was an only child and
naturally he was a mama’s boy. He is a highly educated man, but
he was unable to refuse his mother in anything. Slowly, I lost my
respect for my husband because he showed me how weak he was
as a man and as a husband.
A Life of Isolation
For almost six years, I kept silent most of the time. I submitted
myself to my husband and his family. I think this is when I lost my
identity.
I did try talking with my husband and asked him several times if
we could move to ease the tension in the family and improve our
relationship, but every time I brought this up, he would just brush
it aside. During this entire time I also never knew how much my
husband earned from working as a middle supervisor in a winery. I
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never managed our finances. I only got to hold money whenever I
was asked to do the groceries. Even if I wanted to send money for
my parents, like when they got sick, I couldn’t because I had no
money of my own. I tried to ask my husband if I could find work,
but he would always discourage me.
I was isolated from the outside world; my life was just the house
and the supermarket. I hardly went out because I was told that
people outside might look at me differently. My family’s husband
made me feel inferior; soon I began thinking the same way about
myself.
Not knowing anybody in the community, I had no one to talk to
except my parents. However, this was very seldom because I could
hardly use the phone because I didn’t want my in-laws to think
that I was wasting their money on phone calls. My husband also
never cared about my parents.
When my father died in 2008, I could not return to China. It
was so depressing, but still my husband didn’t care at all. I did
everything to find support but I always was mostly unable to. How
could I have done so when I was always home doing all the chores
and serving my husband and his family like a slave? My parents
were also powerless and they could not do anything so I kept most
of my problems to myself. I tried to call my family once in a while,
but even this was an issue to my mother-in-law.
Talking to my husband became useless because he was by then a
changed man. It was me against the world and I felt I was losing all
the things that I dreamt about. My relationship with my husband
never recovered after the day he slapped me. The situation in the
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house became like hell to me. Even when I got pregnant with
our only child, my husband would just come to me if he needed
something.
After my son was born, and even when I was still pregnant with
him, my husband never slept in the same bed with me. Later I was
told that it is normal behavior among Japanese men.
My husband never laid hands on me again, but the situation in
the house and his cold treatment made me bitter. I was not happy
anymore so on our son’s third birthday, I asked for a divorce. My
husband refused, not because he still loved me, but because his
parents had asked him not to let me and our child go. For Japanese
families, especially the traditional, old-fashioned ones, it is bad for
their image in the community if a family breaks up. My husband
had a previous divorce so the situation for him and his family
would have been the worst. That is why when I finally decided
to file for divorce, I had mixed feelings - a part of me said that I
should not do it, and the other part insisted that I should.
In the end, I decided to push for the divorce so I sought the court’s
help to make it happen. In 2011, I finally got my divorce and since
then my son and I have been living all by us ourselves and I got
support from the local government. I had a job, but the income
was not enough for us. I did not demand child support from my
husband because I really wanted to cut my ties with him and his
family. I wanted to become independent.
Throughout my ordeal, I had no one but myself. I knew of other
marriage migrants around our community, but there was just no
chance for any interaction. I was all the time tied to my work in the
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108
house as wife, daughter-in-law and stepmother to my stepchildren.
In fact, the only time I was able to go out was whenever I went to
the supermarket whenever my mother-in-law was not feeling well.
Even my ex-husband hardly took me out of the house because all
his time was focused on his work.
The different culture and environment was the biggest challenge
for me. And although I had a fairly good chance to know my
husband before we finally got married, still it was not enough.
The language difference was especially a big challenge, especially
as I lived not just with my husband but his paternal and extended
family.
I think the Japanese are more used to seeing Chinese women
marrying their kind rather than Filipinos or Indonesians for example.
So I never had any serious experience of being discriminated
against. It is funny because I felt like I was more discriminated
against inside my own home that in the community where I lived.
Breaking Free
For several years, I was in isolation I never got to interact with
other people outside my own home. But once problems at home
became more serious, that was the time I decided to free myself
and meet people who may be able to help me. Then I began to
meet other marriage migrants like me and we started with simple
conversations. I met them everywhere – in the supermarket, in the
park and even inside the bus. It started with simple conversation
where we would just ask each other’s names and family backgrounds,
and share where we came from and how long we have been living
in Japan. Then, we would exchange each other’s contact numbers.
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On ordinary Sundays, we called each other and gathered in a park
to eat lunch together with our children. Each time was so great so
we made it a regular habit and invited more people to join us.
I am pleased because I found an extended family among them.
And from simple things, we began talking about serious matters
about family and life in Japan. We listened to each other’s stories,
and we would find common things about each other that drew us
together even more.
I never thought that there would be a life waiting outside my own
home. I thought I would be forever stuck in the house dealing
with my husband and his family and grow old dealing with my
problems with them. Now, seeing that there are others like me, we
can help each other to make life a little better.This encouraged me
to stick with my extended family.
We are still in the process of forming our own community
organization right now. We are a group of Chinese marriage
migrants, some Thai women and Filipinos in Hanno City, Saitama.
We regularly meet on Sundays to share lunch together and share
experiences. You can call us a peer group that meets regularly to
lighten up and express ourselves and relieve ourselves of day-today stresses.We have common situations and we try to discuss these
to strengthen our resolve to continue and find ways to improve
our condition.
We have common problems and issues and that is the reason why we
gather together. It is like our support system, our extended family
in Japan. Some of us are also classmates before in the community
language course. Once-in-a-while, we join community forums of
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KAFIN to listen and educate ourselves on new laws and issues that
have effects on us. In Saitama Hanno City there are many marriage
migrants like us, so we plan to invite more to join us on Sundays.
One of our members is also a domestic violence victim. We tried
to help her find an apartment and we helped her take care of her
child while she tried to find work. She didn’t want to go to a
shelter; she just wanted to start a new life. Now, she belongs to our
group and we help each other.
If ever we decide to form ourselves into a formal organization, we
will probably focus on women’s issues, on marriage migrant issues
and our goal would probably to help victims of domestic violence
and help ourselves become better mothers to our children.
In my situation where I do not have my family beside me, you
always try to find comfort. If you cannot find it in your new family,
you will most likely try to find it outside your home.
It was a happy thing, forming this informal group. I discovered
a new, extended family I thought I would never have. My peer
group is a source of strength. Here, I am able to express myself and
I have no fears. After living with my ex-husband and his family for
years, it was a relief to be free. I had kept silent for so long because
I had no one to run to whenever I wanted to cry or show my
feelings. With this group of people, I am able to do all that and
more.
Now, I can say that I have a better perspective of life here in Japan.
I am not saying that I am problem-free because I still have many
problems, issues and challenges to face. The Japanese society is not
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migrant-friendly. We are looked down upon like we were inferior
citizens, especially us, women. Even ordinary Japanese women are
treated differently, especially outside the cities. So it is doubly hard
for us migrant women.
However, having a group that I hope will become a strong
organization of migrant women later on, I am confident that we
can face these problems, challenges and issues much better. I think
being a part of this group is the best thing that happened to me.
I also believe that there are other organizations which can offer
us help if we cannot do it by ourselves. The thought of having so
many people caring for you is already something that comforts me
each day.
All the same, we still face challenges as a group. The first challenge
is how to find a common time to meet each other and what to do
when we come face-to-face. In the beginning, we just ate lunch
together and practiced our little Nihongo. Some of us who have
been in Japan much longer are able to help teach others the proper
way to use and pronounce words. Another challenge is getting
accustomed to each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies. We have in
the group women from other countries, and therefore, we have our
own culture and traditions that we also need to respect; although
most of us are from China.
On the whole, we face a few challenges. I believe the bigger
challenge will be later when we decide to form ourselves into a
group – how we will go about it since all of us have no experience
being part of an organization.
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Zeny
I learned that I am not alone; that I can be with others who will
truly care for me and support me with my problems. I look at my
peer group as a source of strength. If we become a full organization,
I think, we can feel stronger, we can have a louder voice and we
can better assert our rights as individuals and as migrants.
I also believe that being migrants we are not being treated well in
Japan. We are treated like second-class citizens. Even in our own
household we were ill-treated. Having a group like this or better
yet an organization, we can feel more secure.We can be empowered
by just having a group like this? Well, right now, I am a different
person compared to how I was during my first years in Japan. I
feel more confident knowing that I can do more even given my
current circumstances as a migrant in Japan.
I want to tell all migrants that joining a migrant rights advocacy
group even an informal one will empower them. Joining an
organization will make you discover your strength as a person.
There are things I thought I could not do before, but now I can.
This is what this group has taught me and enabled me.
I believe I will continue being part of this group and hopefully
be part of the organization if we decide to establish one soon. I
do not need to be the leader; I can just be an active member. I
think an organization should not depend on its leaders alone. The
strength of the organization is in its members. If we have a strong
membership, it can help a weak leadership and the organization
will be fine. But even if we have a strong leadership, it would be
nothing if we have a very weak membership.
So I will be part of that strong membership, if ever. If we continue
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with our plan, we can help more migrants in Japan. If we help
more migrants, maybe we can change our condition in society.
But we need not be inclusive; we have to interact with the larger
community if we want to change our situation. I believe there
should be no single community, but a cluster of communities
working together. We can help more if we cooperate more with
other communities, be it with communities of migrants or local
communities.
I plan to continue leading this group and hopefully establish it as a
full organization soon. I plan also to join more activities for women
and better educate myself on what is happening around me. In the
future, I also plan to do volunteer work for a non-government
organization to develop my knowledge on how to help other
people and become a more productive member of society.
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Tsim Sha Tsui, Kowloon
115
photo taken by Rey Asis
Hong Kong
116
M
ainland Chinese marriage migrants in Hong Kong face a great deal of
social exclusion. Oppressive policies on citizenship, bearing children in
public hospitals, denial of access to employment are the biggest burden
many of them face in the international city, in addition to racism, discrimination
and ostracism.
One organization stands out in helping them, the New Arrival Women’s League
(NAWL) or Same Roots.
NAWL
The New Arrival Women’s League, or Same Roots, is a self-help group of women
marriage migrants, also known as New Arrivals. The organization is committed
on assisting and empowering new arrivals, helping them help each other, and
collectively fighting for their rights in Hong Kong.
Half the Sky
Mary
Taking Roots in Hong Kong,
Joining Same Roots
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Mary
It is through Same Roots that I found my strength
and I am happy to be a part of it.
My name is Mary Tang Kwan Tai and I am 61 years old. After I
divorced my first husband because of his acts of domestic violence
against me, I married my current husband 13 years ago after a
mutual friend introduced us. I came to Hong Kong in 2005 with
my two sons from my first marriage.
Almost immediately after my arrival in Hong Kong, I began to
experience financial problems and difficulties in my marriage. I
started working two jobs, one as a security guard and the other
as a part-time domestic worker to provide for my family. I also
discovered that my husband suffered from alcoholism. It turned
out that he was also a gambler, and was not above being abusive.
Although I earned about HK$8,000 (US$1,031) per month, he
wasted most of it on alcohol and betting. One night he returned
home drunk and threatened to kill me. I was so scared and thought
to myself “Why did I marry him?” I decided to leave my husband
to protect myself and my two young sons. However, even as I kept
two jobs, it was very hard to scrape together enough money to
provide for all three of us and our basic needs. We did not qualify
for public housing or the social assistance payments because of the
residency requirement that I was unable to meet.
I also began suffering from health problems. I collapsed at work,
and when I went to the doctor, he told me that if I wanted to live,
I should stop working because I was no longer physically fit for it.
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During this time, my life became quite miserable. I suffered severe
depression and I contemplated on committing suicide. I even
wrote a farewell note to my children. However, I also met with
the social worker assigned by the government assigned to my
apartment building. She understood about my situation, showed
me to the local food bank and brought me to Same Roots. Same
Roots helped me to face the challenges in my life by arranging
me with a meeting with the social welfare department. The social
welfare department agreed to give my eldest son living support
even though he exceeded the age limit of 18.Without Same Roots,
I would have not known where I would be today.
My experience with Same Roots showed me that joining
organization such as this can significantly help women marriage
migrants. Since Same Roots helped me meet and successfully
overcome the challenges in my life, I believe that I can help others
who face similar issues. I decided to become more involved once
I saw Ms. Yeung Mei, the general secretary, working so hard. I
knew that she needed help to shoulder the burden of running the
organization, so I decided to run for president to contribute more.
I started as a secretary in 2008 and was elected as president in 2010.
Same roots also contributed to my personal development through
skills training. I underwent leadership training and seminars/
workshops on social policy and culture in Hong Kong. I realized
that I can help people, but sometimes I could still be overcome by
my own shyness when speaking in public. I would get nervous, and
my heart would always beat so fast!
Same Roots has provided a very supportive environment for me
and my two sons. They even call it their “second home.” They
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Mary
always want to join activities, and now that they are older, they
volunteer by looking after the children of members while they
attend the meetings. I feel supported and welcomed by the Same
Roots community.
However, Same Roots also faces considerable challenges. Many
family members do not approve of the women marriage migrants’
working with Same Roots because it is on a voluntary basis.
Working for the organization doesn’t give us any compensation.
Some of the members also give excuses rather than join activities.
Same Roots addresses these challenges by encouraging members
to describe their experiences to their children and the organization
so they know the important role that this organization plays in
their lives.
I have two dreams for the future: I hope that my children will
study hard and get good jobs so that we do not need to rely on
money from the government. I also hope that Same Roots grows
into a stronger organization and gives a helping hand to other
women marriage migrants.
Half the Sky
Ms Poon
A Long and Difficult Journey
of Survival in Hong Kong
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122
Ms Poon
All it takes is a helping hand from a concerned
stranger. We all have difficulties in life, and it is our
duty to help one another.
Since the handover of Hong Kong, numerous Mainland Chinese
have transferred to the island. For most of them, the new life has
neither been easy nor always happy but it was a risk that many
take hoping to secure a share of the prosperity and development
of Hong Kong for themselves and their family. I was one of those
who took that risk. I am one of the many marriage migrants who
arrived in Hong Kong expecting to have a share of the better life
represented by Hong Kong for most Mainland Chinese.
I was born and raised in the Mainland. I lived and worked for a
factory in Shenzen. I met my husband in 2002 through a jie-jie, an
agent or marriage broker who was actually a distant relative of my
husband, originally from Panyu in Guangzhou.
I told my then future husband that I wanted to stay in the Mainland
so I could keep my job. This was probably because I was used
to supporting myself and my family. My three sisters were also
married and, like myself, they were all independently working and
earning.
I had a busy work life. I used to get home by 11pm, and I was usually
so tired that I only had the energy to take a shower before falling
exhausted into bed. My future husband visited me from Hong
Kong during holidays such as the New Year, the Mid-Autumn,
and the Dragon Boat Festivals. Mostly, we communicated through
the Internet via chat. I believe that despite the physical distance
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between us, I fell in love with him because of this online courtship.
We were married in 2002. I continued to live in the Mainland,
however, and my husband continued to visit me from Hong Kong.
This arrangement continued until even after a few years after our
son was born in 2004.
When our son was a little older, I tried to take him with me to
work because there was no one else to look after him. My son,
behaving like a normal little boy, would play with the buttons of
the machines. Knowing that this was dangerous for my son and
disruptive to my work, I tried sending the boy to a kindergarten
instead. My son was naughty and refused to put on his uniform
and to go to school. I can even say that I actually had to take care
of two children, my son and my husband.
When my brother-in-law mentioned that my son could study
in Hong Kong, I realized that he would actually have a better
education there. In the Mainland, English is taught at the primary
level while in Hong Kong, students start learning it as early as
kindergarten. That was when I decided to apply for residency for
both of us.
My Mother and Hong Kong
Hong Kong was not an entirely new place for me. My maternal
grandfather was the first in my family to live in Hong Kong. He
was followed by my grandmother and uncle. My mother, then a
child, was left in the Mainland under the care of an aunt.When my
mother grew up, she stayed in Hong Kong briefly but had to go
back to take care of her aging aunt. My mother got married, had
children and raised them all in the Mainland. She never again went
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Ms Poon
back to Hong Kong even though all she needed back then to get
in was to show her birth certificate. The Hong Kong Government
at that time also gave out resident ID cards but my mother missed
the opportunity.This turned out to be a big disappointment for my
grandmother and a cause of strife within the family.
In 1973, through my grandmother, my mother and her children
had been approved for migration to Hong Kong. My father,
however, did not want this for his family. He worked hard as a
wholesale vegetable supplier and they had farmland. We would
lose all of it if we all leave the Mainland. He was probably thinking
that if we leave Mainland, my mother would need to raise us alone
so he refused to have his family moved. His mother-in-law, my
grandmother, argued that if my mother, me and my siblings didn’t
go then, it would be very difficult to enter Hong Kong later on.
In 1976, still unable to convince my father to let her daughter and
grandchildren move to Hong Kong, my grandmother went to my
mother’s house and took one of my sisters to Guangzhou without
telling the rest of the family. At that time, people used to take a
boat or train from Guangzhou to get to Hong Kong. When my
mother realized that one of her daughters was missing, she rushed
to the train station to look for them. She asked the station’s officers
to help her, but my grandmother had already left on the train with
my sister.
My grandmother wrote to her daughter explaining that it was not
her intention to kidnap her grandchild. She just wanted my mother
and her children to go to Hong Kong. She also told her daughter
that she was worried about my mother seeing how she took care
of all of us by herself. She saw the hard life that her daughter had.
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Aside from raising the children mostly by herself, my mother also
had to take care of the farm raising sugarcane while my father was
away selling produce.
When we were old enough, we helped out in farming but only
for a short period since we also started going to school. This made
things harder for our mother who had to tend the farm by herself
mot of the time, having help only on weekends and holidays. This
was why my grandmother wanted to take us all with her to Hong
Kong.
The residency regulations in Hong Kong were then loose, but my
grandmother was unable to bring anyone else from her family to
Hong Kong aside from my sister. This made my grandmother so
angry that she got sick and passed away in 1980. With her death,
her daughter and remaining grandchildren lost their chance of
moving to Hong Kong.
After my grandmother died, my sister went back to their village.
She then had a resident ID, the only family member to have one
after our grandmother. My father only had a two-way pass that
allowed him to travel to and from Hong Kong and only when
accompanied by his wife, who was a child of a permanent resident.
When I was four or five years old, Hong Kong for me was the
foreign and strange land where my grandmother lived. I remember
that my grandmother sometimes sent over clothes and candies, and
that these were of better quality than those that can be had in our
village.
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126
Living in Hong Kong
When I decided to move to Hong Kong to join my husband and
secure a better education for our son, conditions had changed and
restrictions to travel to Hong Kong were already in place. It was
2007 and there was a strict merit-based system to secure permission
to travel. I had qualified, but I knew that my chances of getting
permission to leave again at a later time were slim. Because of
this, I decided to use my one-way permit to apply for permanent
residency. My application was processed quickly and, five years
after I got married, my son and I finally joined my husband in
Hong Kong.
It was difficult for me to adapt to living in Hong Kong with my
husband’s family. I found the lifestyle, habits, and even the food
unfamiliar. At first, I lived with my husband’s parents and sister
in my mother-in-law’s house. It was a two-bedroom flat in Sham
Shui Po in Kowloon. The Sham Shui Po area is largely populated
by poor families, most of them new immigrants.
In my mother-in-law’s house, we had to sleep on a bed sheet on
the living room floor. My father-in-law occupied one bedroom,
while my mother-in-law and sister-in-law occupied the other.
When my father-in-law died, my sister-in-law moved to his room.
My husband let me have the sofa while he slept on the floor beside
me. My son has gotten so used to sleeping on the floor that he
continues to do so up to this day.
It was difficult for me to follow my new family’s sleeping and
eating habits as well. Having come from a rural area, I was used to
waking up early for work. People also went to bed early at night.
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My in-laws called it a nuisance that I woke up at 7am while the
rest of the family slept until late morning. I was also criticized for
not staying up late to wait for my husband to return from work.
My son’s feeding and changing schedule also caused my in-laws to
complain that the child’s crying at odd hours woke them up.
Meal times were also difficult to adjust to. By the time the rest of
the family woke up for breakfast at 11 am or has lunch at 3pm, I
was already very hungry. There were also times when they were
mean to me and my son.
My sister-in-law kept biscuits and snacks in a cabinet that was off
limits to me. She bought these on her way home from work, ate
most of it herself and gave some to her own child and husband
before she offered the crumbs to me. I refused and pretended to
have a sore throat.
When relatives visit the flat, my sister-in-law served soup to all but
me. I was only allowed to eat the broth left over from the soup.
My sister-in-law diluted it with water, reheats it and served that
to me. She even accused me of “stealing” when I tried to get soup
for my son.
Through all these, I thought that it was best to stay quiet about
how badly I was being treated.
My mother-in-law started complaining that the house was
crowded and that expenses went up after my son and I moved
in. She asked me to fill and sign some forms, explaining that it
was a way for her to help the family pay for food and rent. I later
found out that my mother-in-law applied for financial assistance
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(CSSA) from the Welfare Department in my son’s name. When I
confronted her, she countered that I was not allowed to apply for
and receive the assistance meant for my son because I was still of
immigrant status. This turned out to be false. After receiving the
benefits, my mother-in-law then used the money to transfer to
another house.
A Life of Hardships and Sacrifices
Since she agreed to the marriage, I wondered why she complained
about the living arrangements. It dawned on me that my motherin-law thought that I influenced her son and forced him to let me
move to Hong Kong. The truth was that I had asked my husband
whether he preferred living with me and our son in the Mainland
or staying with his mother in Hong Kong. Before I went to Hong
Kong, my father-in-law stayed in the Mainland to work and his
wife, my mother-in-law, used to visit Shenzen every weekend to
give him money for food. It was HK$20 (or US$2.58 ) per day
just for food.
When I married her son, my mother-in-law sent me HK$300 a
month to cover my living expenses. After my son was born, my
allowance was increased to HK$600 a month and continued to
be this amount after I moved in. In Hong Kong, however, this was
not enough.
Rent for my mother-in-law’s flat was HK$3,000. My husband and
I paid for the bulk of the rent which is HK$2,500. The financial
assistance from the welfare department was around HK$4000
a month but I received only the HK$600 to feed my son and
myself. When my son started school, I was able to start working
Half the Sky
129
as a caregiver for an elderly Chinese woman, but even with the
HK$1,500 a month I earned from the job, our financial situation
was still very tight.
The woman I took care of hurt her leg and was unable to walk so
I did the food shopping and cooking for her. Everyday, I shopped
for my patient after I sent my son to school in the mornings. I also
did my own shopping to take advantage of the discounts for larger
purchases, but since the inflation rate was high, the discounts didn’t
help much.
It was while doing her shopping that I felt the discrimination and
maltreatment often felt by immigrants from the Mainland. I felt
hostility from the vendors in the market when I tried to bargain
for discounts. They taunted me, asking, “ Do you think you’re still
on the Mainland?” Later, I found that it was easier and cheaper to
do my shopping in the evenings.
Back in my mother-in-law’s house, I once received a letter
addressed to my husband. It was from the government describing
the procedure and requirements for applying for housing.
Unfortunately, my mother-in-law saw the letter and my sister-inlaw shouted at me to hand the letter over, but I stood up for my
rights as the spouse and kept the letter.
That night, over dinner, I had a quarrel with my husband about
the incident. He was unwilling to support me over his mother and
sister. Afterwards, while I was cleaning the floor, I accidentally hit
my husband with the mop and he shoved me, hurting my back so
badly that the pain persisted until the following day.
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Ms Poon
I needed to put an end to the maltreatment I suffered, so I went to
my brother-in-law’s wife. Like me, she was an immigrant from the
Mainland. She had been helpful before, and had given me advice
about living in Hong Kong and seemed sympathetic.
I decided to ask her about the letter from the government about
housing. I also told her how my husband hurt me. She suggested
that I inform the police and to ask the Family Service Center
(FSC) to intervene. The FSC would be able to help me obtain a
separation from her husband.
I followed the advice and went to the FSC, but the social worker
assigned to my case was less than helpful. She blamed me for my
plight, saying that I came to Hong Kong even when I knew what
my husband’s family was like. The social worker suggested that I
contact my own family in the Mainland and ask for their help or
just leave my husband and go back to the Mainland myself.
I told her that the last option would be difficult. I came to Hong
Kong with a one-way permit and when I applied for my resident
certificate, my hukou (household registration unit in China) card
was canceled and cut in half.
I cried and told the staff that I still needed the card because I
had not finished all the necessary procedures for residency in the
Mainland. Usually, in cases like this, a hole is punched into the card
and returned to the owner. But the staff assigned to me was new
and was quick to cut the card and throw it away. At this point, I was
at a loss on what to do.
Half the Sky
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“Meeting” NAWL
Hope came when, by accident, I chanced upon my son watching
a TV show one afternoon. The show was an episode of “The
Good Old Days”, an old TV drama produced locally. It was about
the experiences of immigrants in Hong Kong. It showed the
difficulties these immigrants went through while adjusting to life
with their in-laws in Hong Kong. Understandably, I found myself
relating strongly to the show so that when my brother-in-law’s
wife offered to introduce me to an immigrants’ organization in
Tsuen Wan which helped her with her own situation, I agreed to
go.
The organization was called the New Arrival Women’s League
(NAWL). The staff listened sympathetically as I related to them
what has been happening to me. Disagreeing with the FSC social
worker’s suggestion that I go back to the Mainland, the staff instead
helped me learn how to be more assertive and to communicate
more effectively with my husband and his family.
I was advised to talk to my mother-in-law directly and explain my
need to handle my own family’s budget and manage our living
expenses myself. Predictably, my mother-in-law became angry
about my consulting a social worker and she reprimanded me
cruelly. I responded to the scolding with more silence. I avoided
my mother-in-law as much as I could to prevent further conflict.
While trying to avoid her once, I forgot to turn off the gas in
the kitchen before leaving the house. When I remembered and
returned to turn it off, I found my mother-in-law waiting for me.
to accuse of wanting to burn down the house. I told her that I
132
Ms Poon
forgot because I was trying to avoid her constantly before walking
out of the house again. My mother-in-law responded by following
me out the flat, down in the lift and up again, while continuously
berating me. I just kept quiet not wanting to get involved in the
conversation. My doctor had advised me to avoid anger, but I had
my fill of my mother-in-law’s abuse. On the advice of my brotherin-law’s wife, I finally decided to fight for my rights.
My brother-in-law’s wife wrote a letter to the FSC and finally filed
a case about it. Again, the FSC suggested that I get a divorce, but
I rejected this advice as my difficulties were with my in-laws and
not with my husband.
My son, Wing Hong, was meanwhile growing up to be a difficult
boy, which concerned me more and more. He often played with
electric plugs and fragile objects. Once, he moved around a pot
owned by one of my husband’s visiting relatives. The visitor, afraid
that he would break the expensive pot, asked me to take my son
away. My husband kicked the boy; I was shocked and told my
husband that he had overreacted.
My husband has begun hurting our son. Once he slapped him
when he caught him playing with the TV. I admit that I, too,
had beaten up the boy several times, to curb his naughtiness and
noisiness, especially at night when the family was resting.
When my husband hit me for the first time, I warned him that
I would end our relationship. I told him that I could accept him
hurting our son because the boy was very naughty, but not me. I
served and cooked for him and I deserved to be treated well.
Half the Sky
133
My husband and I left my mother-in-law’s house by then because
my sister-in-law had started hitting me, too.
One morning at 3 am, my husband came home drunk after
celebrating a July 14 festival with my in-laws. He turned on the
TV and the radio in our flat. Afraid that the noise might wake up
the elderly couple living opposite to us, I asked him to turn off
the TV, he refused and started to beat me. I told him to move in
back with his mother and sister as I could endure my sister-inlaw hitting me, but I would not tolerate being beaten by my own
husband.
The social worker to whom I related this doubtingly asked me
to show my injuries and whether I reported the incidents to the
police. When I said that I called the police every time my husband
or sister-in-law beat me, the social worker said that I was being a
nuisance to the police and wasting their time by doing so.
Again, I felt that social workers were of no help to people like
me. When I first applied for financial assistance available to low
income households, the social worker assigned to my case thought
that the amount I received every month – HK$1500 plus the
HK$600 allowance given by my mother-in-law, was enough. I had
to repeatedly explain that I was supporting my entire family on the
amount and not just myself.
I felt that my son and I were still regarded as foreigners and were
not as important as natives of Hong Kong. It bothered me that I
always had to feed my son biscuits and candies that were past the
expiration date.
Ms Poon
134
Joining NAWL
When I first joined NAWL, the organization had to borrow
office space from other organizations. We started by distributing
free blankets around the neighborhood to those who need them
and introduced ourselves as a group concerned with the problems
faced by women who had just arrived in Hong Kong.
There is still not enough assistance available to women immigrants.
Ten years after the handover of Hong Kong to China, the NAWL,
or the League, reached out to women in need of assistance. A
common concern involved women being abused or abandoned by
their husbands. Many were left without a place to live in and no
means to support themselves.
The league helped these women face their pasts and better their
futures. We told them that if we can face our past then the future
would turn better. Through the League, I was able to transform
myself from a woman who arrived in Hong Kong knowing nothing
to someone who helps others caught in a similar situation. I have
even started giving speeches in public and teaching student interns.
I told the women not to panic and I encouraged them to seek
help if they needed to. I explained to them that what they may
not accomplish these alone so cooperating and working with
others will help a lot. I persuaded them to at least talk to other
people about their concerns and problems so that they would feel
less alone. Some women who choose to keep to themselves and
endure their situation alone become sick. Others even commit
suicide. I know that I could have been one of these women; this is
why I continue to be a volunteer.
Half the Sky
135
In the course of helping new arrivals, I discovered loopholes in
some of the government policies that concern welfare and the
CSSA or financial assistance. Based on my experience, there is no
guarantee that an immigrant applying for financial assistance will
receive any. Unknown to most, one needs to have been a resident
in Hong Kong for at least six or seven years before being eligible
for CSSA. Even then, it was seldom that the maximum allowable
amount is given.
Almost all immigrants from the Mainland believe that they will
immediately qualify for financial assistance when they arrive.
Furthermore, even locals thought the same. I thought that it is
from this misunderstanding of policies that the resentment,
discrimination and overall negative opinion that natives have
against immigrants, especially against marriage migrants, or people
who immigrated from the Mainland as spouses of locals, arise.
When faced by challenging and complex cases, I give advice to
women to look for larger organizations for “real” support. In case
of an emergency, then help is urgently needed, the women in need
will be asked to try and break down her “problem” so the League
can help her define it clearly and assist her at least provisionally.
Being a volunteer, I am wary about offering help when the
problematic situation is hard to understand. Mostly, the League
addresses questions that new immigrants usually have, explaining
to them their present situation as best as we can.
For now, what I really want to accomplish for the League is to
deliver the training program on women’s rights successfully. I hope
that the women who participate in the program pay attention to
the lessons and enjoy the activities that the League organizes. Since
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Ms Poon
the old woman that I used to take care of passed away (at the age
of 102) and because I am not currently working, I devote all my
time to volunteer work and to taking care of my son.
For someone who has been used to having several jobs at a time,
it was a big change for me. I also used to volunteer for other
organizations, but my son is six now and needs extra care. I also
continue to have health problems and I am not as fast or as strong
as before. I find it difficult to lift heavy objects or do the laundry. I
have also begun to have problems with my joints.
The queue for doctors in the public hospitals for non-emergency
illness is long and when I was finally able to see one, the doctor
asked me to have some blood tests done. The doctor suspected
thallassemia, but I explained that I fell down often, due to fatigue
and spousal abuse. After the first time my husband hurt me by
pushing me against an iron gate, I sometimes felt faint. I suspected
that this was due to the intra-uterine device I had put in after I gave
birth to my son. After I had it removed, the symptoms remained, so
I had an ultrasonic examination and the doctors found a tumor.
In addition to having health problems, my son was also diagnosed
with attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This
explains my child’s restless behavior and the difficulty that I had in
disciplining him. I have to cope with these as a single parent. I also
worry that I am already over 40 and still raising a very young son.
Fortunately, the tumor was found to be benign but still needed to
be removed to prevent bleeding. After the operation, my overall
health got better. My mood also improved, probably because I have
moved into public housing. I have even gained weight.
Half the Sky
137
Life changing
My life though filled with difficulties, has been improving. Since
joining the New Arrival Women’s League, I have been able to solve
my marriage problems and secure a place to live and a means of
livelihood. I have also received some training and occupied posts
of responsibility. I have never stopped helping myself and others.
I have even given interviews to reporters and never declined
opportunities to share my story, joining rallies and participating in
dialogues with government officials.
Since I became the external vice chairperson of the NAWL, I
have been active in expressing my opinions about relevant policies,
fearlessly speaking in public forums even though I can only do so
slowly, knowing that my audience hardly understands me. I can
now address the media directly in press conferences and seminars
displaying strength and confidence. It may be because of these that
other organizations have invited me to join their press conferences.
My life story has been included in the televison program, “The
Story of a Million People” by RTHK, where the rich are invited
to the homes of the poor. These activities have helped me gain
courage and learn positive coping strategies.
No longer feeling weak or fearful, I use my story and the stories
told to me by new arrivals to inform others. I have shared my life
through TV and anyone can watch and learn from it. The program
is shown on ATV, in cooperation with TVB.
In the end, the women are able to share their stories, maintain their
self esteem despite the negative condition they are in.They are able
138
Ms Poon
to face reality positively and, through the media, educate the locals
about the situation faced by new women arrivals in Hong Kong.
Half the Sky
Great Ocean Road,Victoria
139
photo taken by Reyvi Mariñas
Australia
140
W
omen who enter Australia in forced marriage, arranged marriage, and
those who are trafficked through a marriage situation have difficulty
navigating pathways to community services. Most of them are isolated
and are controlled by the husband and family that are accomplices to these
arrangements and crimes in the case of trafficking by marriage. One organization
aims to help these women - the IWSA or the Immigrant Women’s Speakout
Association of New South Wales.
IWSA
The Immigrant Women’s Speakout Association of NSW Inc (IWSA) is a peak
body and a community-based organisation which has an advocacy role, and
provides education, information and other direct services to women of non-English
speaking backgrounds in New South Wales, Australia. IWSA represents the
issues and ideas of immigrant and refugee women at all levels of government, in
the community services and industrial sectors, and in mass media.
In March 1982, three hundred women gathered in Sydney to speak out
publicly on issues affecting migrant and refugee women of non-English-speaking
background. As a result of this landmark meeting, the IWSA was established.
One of the largest groups of IWSA members are women marriage migrants. As a
result of the many issues that have impact on the lives of immigrants and refugee
women, IWSA has been and continues to be involved in broad strategic and
political activity together with grassroots action, conscious that IWSA must be
accessible to the women it seeks to serve.
Half the Sky
Cherry
Rediscovering Herself
through the IWSA
141
142
Cherry
There is an organization for women marriage
migrants in Australia, IWSA. I learned many things
from them and this is my story.
My name is Cherry* and I am Japanese. I arrived in Australia on a
student visa in 2007 and I was 17 years old. My brother who has
an Australian citizenship and was residing in Sydney supported me
financially. I enrolled in a course on Certificate III in Hospitality
at a private college.
It was during this time I met my now former husband. After two
years of intense and roller coaster relationship I got pregnant and
married my boyfriend – an Australian citizen. I believed it was the
best option at the time, and hoped that the relationship would get
better.
Despite conceiving a second child, my husband became more
violent and I decided to leave him. The post-break up period was
a tumultuous time for me, as I had virtually no financial support.
My relationship with my family had soured as a result of my
relationship with my ex-husband. When I felt like I couldn’t cope
any longer on my own, I sought assistance from a women’s refuge
in one of the suburbs in Sydney. However, my temporary resident
status precluded me from accessing assistance, and I was therefore
referred to Immigrant Women’s Speakout Association (IWSA).
My advice to women in a similar position – if there is something
wrong, one must seek help sooner rather than later, and in Australia,
one can go to Immigrant Women’s Speakout Association.
*For reasons of security, we decided to change the name of Cherry and not place her picture.
Half the Sky
143
An IWSA caseworker advised me to access short-term services
from large charity organisations. Later on, IWSA assisted me in
preparing documents that I needed to fulfill the requirements for
the FVP (Family Violence Provisions). The FVP is a regulation
within the Australian immigration law that allowed victims of
family violence on partner visa and are on temporary residency, to
continue their application for permanent residency even though
the relationship has ended due to family violence. Six weeks after
I had lodged evidence of my experience of family violence, my
permanent residence visa was granted.
Since then, I had begun working in a law firm as an executive
assistant while completing Certificate II in Make-Up course. I was
taking it one day at a time to recover from my ordeal of violent
relationship with my former husband. For now, I am happy caring
for my children, and looking after them as best as I can.
I feel like I didn’t fully experience growing up as a child due to
marrying early. And now I am raising my own child. Sometimes
it’s all a bit too overwhelming and I feel like running away. But at
the end of the day, I love my children and want to give them the
world. I was able to do this because of the support from Immigrant
Women’s Speakout Association.
In all of these dramas in my young life I have learned that one
cannot achieve what I had achieved during this moment in my life
without a women’s organisation, which is IWSA. I am a member
since 2012.
Since becoming a member I have known that the Immigrant
Women’s Speakout Association has been founded more than 30
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Cherry
years ago by 300 migrant and refugee women who gathered in
Sydney in March 1982. The two big IWSA programs are focused
on community development and direct support services for
women escaping domestic and family violence and other issues
such as access to community services.
IWSA is a peak advocacy organisation and among its recent
achievements is introduction of changes to the Family Violence
Provisions of the Migration regulations. The changes included
other forms of evidence on experiences of family violence. They
are meant to reduce the re-traumatisation of migrant women who
have to leave their relationship due to violence by the partnersponsor and discuss their experience to competent persons who
are registered professionals such as social workers, counselors and
others.
During the times that I visited the IWSA centre I always felt that
atmosphere is like a home. The IWSA staff and members whom
I have met are friendly and have a strong sense and feeling of
sisterhood and activism for women’s rights. The IWSA centre
offers activities such as classes in English conversation, sewing,
computer literacy and mentoring in leadership, preparation for job
application, accessing community services and many more.
I am able to participate in some IWSA activities only. My children
are still young and we live far from where most IWSA activities are
held. IWSA staff members had encouraged me to join playgroup for
mothers and children in the local area where I live. This playgroup
suits me and my children. Through this playgroup I connect with
other mothers and most of them are immigrants and single parent.
Half the Sky
145
Whenever I hear of a migrant woman experiencing issues in their
lives I provide them with the phone number of IWSA. I also
encourage them to become a member.
I can see that IWSA staff members and our membership organise
migrant and refugee women through group activities. IWSA
provides awareness sessions about women’s rights and encourage
us to also participate in rallies during International Women’s Day
and Reclaim the Night – to demonstrate that women has the right
to be safe anywhere and anytime especially during night time.
As IWSA member I have learned that we, as migrant women, have
to organise ourselves so that we can become a strong voice. If we
have many united members in our women’s organisations we can
make positive changes in our community.
146
Half the Sky
147
Grace
Singing to Expose Violence
Against Women
Grace
148
It is through other women marriage migrants that I
found my voice and I will use this in telling not only
my story but theirs as well.
I am Grace* and was born in Korea. My father is a university
professor and my mother is a high school teacher. I had a pleasant
life in Korea and when I became 18 years old I began to study
Opera singing. While doing my Opera singing course I also
worked as a vocal teacher. My dream was to travel abroad and to
become an Opera singer and so I went to Italy and studied Opera
singing for one year. Then, I returned to Korea to continue my
Opera singing course. I wanted to become better as Opera singer
so I sent applications to various universities in different countries.
I was accepted to study at the Sydney Conservatorium. Following
my dreams I have moved to Australia in 2009 on a student visa to
study at the Conservatorium. During my studies I met a man who
was gentle and romantic. This man became my boyfriend and he
gave me so much love and support. My boyfriend and I had ups
and downs but when he proposed to marry me I was overwhelmed.
Then we immediately flew to Korea and asked for my parents’
permission. After my father had approved of the marriage, we
returned to Australia where we got married at a civil registry.
A Life of Hardships as a Woman Marriage Migrant
Months later after getting married my husband’s attitude towards
me became negative. He started accusing me of marrying him in
order to gain permanent residency. My training course in opera
singing was affected by the bad attitude of my husband towards
*For reasons of security, we decided to change the name of Grace and not place her picture.
Half the Sky
149
me. So I decided to change my career and chose to become a pop
music singer. I immediately found a job as a lounge singer and sang
in different clubs at night.
My husband was not happy with the amount of money I earned
from singing and he was forcing me to get a full-time job at
a grocery store and still continue my singing job at night. My
husband’s behaviour towards me started to worsen. He no longer
supported my singing career and became very jealous. There were
many violent incidents that happened. My husband pulled my
hair while putting the car keys in my mouth when I accidentally
dropped the keys in the toilet bowl.
I called the police but I did not ask for Apprehended Violence
Order (AVO) because I did not understand fully the meaning of an
AVO. The police assisted me to access a women’s refuge. I did not
stay long at the women’s refuge because it was infested with rats.
I left the women’s refuge when one of my friends offered a space
in her apartment.
Joining IWSA
While staying with my friend, she told me that she is a member
of the Immigrant Women’s Speakout Association (IWSA). My
friend encouraged me to seek assistance from IWSA. I contacted
IWSA right away. IWSA staff members supported me in sending
information to the Department of Immigration about my husband’s
violent behaviour towards me. With the information I got from
IWSA I have learned about my rights in Australia.
My friend encouraged me to become a member of IWSA. I was very
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Grace
happy to become a member. Through IWSA I have changed my
outlook in life. I became more positive and community-oriented.
I have realised that organisations like IWSA is very important in
promoting women’s rights. There are other women’s organisations
that I hear about but IWSA is more hands-on in supporting
women in need. I have listened to stories of other migrant women
who have sought the IWSA services.These women felt very happy
and satisfied. They are proud to be members of IWSA.
IWSA staff members always invited me to activities and I attended
some of these. I also donated my talent in singing to make IWSA
events more fun. While I was singing, IWSA members and guests
danced and were happy.
IWSA celebrated its 30th birthday in 2012. I was very happy to
be part of the celebration. I sang songs during the celebration. At
that event I also joined in doing the flashmob dance for the “One
Billion Rising” campaign.
I was informed that on 14th February 2013 IWSA has led the
Western Sydney mobilisation of more than 250 participants who
danced at the Parramatta Town Hall. There were 38 organisations
that joined including government staff members from Legal Aid
Commission.
I believe that it was a very successful campaign where participants
called on communities to stop violence against women and
children. For me, the One Billion Rising flashmob dance is a very
effective way to get the community become aware about the effect
of violence against women and children. I am very honoured to be
part of this campaign.
Half the Sky
151
At present I continue to work in the Korean Pop Industry. My
dream is to continue to study Opera and get my masters’ degree
in music. I would also like to become a music therapist. Perhaps
I can support victims of violence overcome their trauma through
music therapy.
I became very independent since leaving a violent relationship and
I will pursue my dream to become an opera singer, no matter what.
152
Half the Sky
153
About the Book
Pictures are said to be worth a thousand words. However, a picture
of empowerment will never be enough to convey the story behind
the painstaking process – the context of how it started, the trials
that one has to suffer, the sacrifices that must be endured, the
decisions that have to be made, and the liberating happiness that
results from its success.
This is what this book wishes to do. The book, Half the Sky:
Stories of Women Marriage Migrants and Their Empowerment,
is a collection of stories about women marriage migrants who did
not only face a life of sacrifice and struggle in their new home
countries but also found strength and empowerment through
joining an organization, reaching out to their fellow women
marriage migrants, helping others.
About APMM
The Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM) is a causeoriented regional center committed to support the migrants’
movement through advocacy, organizing, building linkages for the
advancement of migrants’ rights.
Established in 1984, APMM continues to work towards helping
build a strong movement of migrants of different nationalities
in Asia Pacific and Middle East (APME). We envision this as
organized into a strong migrant movement, actively defending
their rights, advancing solidarity with people’s movements in
154
the countries where they are working and linking up with their
peoples movements in their home countries.
The APMM helped in the formation of the Action Network
for Marriage Migrants’ Rights and Empowerment (AMM♀RE),
a loose network of marriage migrants’ organizations and their
advocates from Asia Pacific and other parts of the world.
About AMM♀RE
The Action Network for Marriage Migrants’ Rights and
Empowerment, or AMM♀RE, is an international network
of marriage migrants’ organizations as well as migrants’ rights
advocates and migrant-serving institutions coming together for a
common purpose – the protection and upholding of the rights of
marriage migrants and their empowerment.
In cooperation with other organizations,AMM♀RE has organized
conferences, workshops and exchange visits as well as helped in
coming up with researches discussing the situation of marriage
migrants and their families.
They are now planning to launch the I WANT TO SPEAK OUT
campaign, an international campaign highlighting the issues,
concerns and demands of marriage migrants both at the national
level and at the international level.
Half the Sky
155
156
About the Book
Pictures are said to be worth a thousand words. However, a picture of
empowerment will never be enough to convey the story behind the painstaking
process – the context of how it started, the trials that one has to suffer, the
sacrifices that must be endured, the decisions that have to be made, and the
liberating happiness that results from its success.
This is what this book wishes to do. The book, Half the Sky: Stories of Women
Marriage Migrants and Their Empowerment, is a collection of stories about
women marriage migrants who did not only face a life of sacrifice and struggle
in their new home countries but also found strength and empowerment through
joining an organization, reaching out to their fellow women marriage migrants,
helping others.
About APMM
The Asia Pacific Mission for Migrants (APMM) is a cause-oriented regional
center committed to supporting the migrants’ movement through advocacy,
organizing, building linkages for the advancement of migrants’ rights.
Established in 1984, APMM continues to work towards helping build a strong
movement of migrants of different nationalities in Asia Pacific and the Middle
East (APME). We envision them as organized into a strong migrant movement,
actively defending their rights, advancing solidarity with people’s movements in
the countries where they are working at and linking up with their own people’s
movements in their home countries.
The APMM helped in the formation of the Action Network for Marriage
Migrants’ Rights and Empowerment (AMM♀RE), a loose network of marriage
migrants’ organizations and their advocates from Asia Pacific and other parts of
the world.
ISBN 978-988-19440-8-5