030110 I remember the room very well. I was

030110
I remember the room very well. I was there by chance, as usual. This
betrayed me. He, sitting at the old walnut desk, didn’t see me, it’s
obvious, but he felt my presence and he won the battle. He took off
the watch from his left wrist, metal, grey face, reddish spheres and
put it down on the writing pad. He found a picture of himself before
and laid it down close by. He took the camera and waited for the
immobility to kill me.
040210
Lissen to the falling rain, the rain from inside going out, running
aside by the sleep beneath the underdog and less, wet the rain, wet
the mind, wet the mom calling and not listening, nor latent wax but
latest witness and this is not enough but it falls and hears again the
slope not sober nor sated not so that the sun tries and it doesn’t
know, no, that it doesn’t know it is impossible to do anything with it
and when finally the voice cracks and the only breath left dozing is
the smile accepting the suspended invitation but surely not ignored
that is now here.
050310
Kind the outline on the cushion. It is not dream, it is not reality. A fly
passes by quickly to find a more comfortable spot, without knowing
that like these there are no others. Through the window you can see
the sunshine painted like in a chinese restaurant in a gleam of gold
and blood, good luck to them too. The fly comes back, may be it
understood how things in life go. Quick, the hand catches and holds
it. Just a little above the sharp nose, the full lips, the messed up
cushion. There is life, in that hand, eager to be somewhere else. It’s
not the only one.
060410
You’ll ask yourself why. It’s not at all easy to turn into words a
thought that doesn’t exist. The blessed are the ones who own the
image of god without doubt or knowledge. This is not for us, is it?
Nevertheless it is so strong a temptation, to be understood… Not
accepted, not justified, but understood, that at least, would be good
if it happened. We are what we are, entangled in every known
dimension like a fly not big enough to escape from the spider’s bite,
but at the same time lords of his life, vital food.
070510
Slowly he made the door open, paying attention to not pass on the
line of fire of his colleague. He didn’t trust her, how can you trust a
former volleyball player passing from the police academy to the
captain’s , from there to the side? He pushed the head inside, jerking it
back immediately, the glock held with two hands at his shoulders
height. Nobody, he thought. His colleague stood still, playing in her
mind with the idea of pulling the trigger while he was passing quick in
front of her to enter the house where I’ve already been and I’d be
back once finish with’em.
080610
It’s not the noise that you feel, it’s the pressure. You find your butt on
the ground also if you knew it was coming. The air that seemed gone is
there again, warm and nervous and pushing you where you don’t want
to go. Laughing you laugh just because you know that this time wasn’t
your time or your friends’. A picture freezes the glance gathered on
the face of somebody who, like you, chose the path of the warrior. The
chemical reaction is known, the situation on the ground too and so
the effect foreseen doesn’t cause visible damage. At the end of the
game, collateral damage never exists for the one who continues the
search.
090710
Which question do you like better? I don’t know, do you have any
really fresh ones? Hey, what do you think, that we’re here to trick
the good folks? No, I didn’t mean to offend anybody, but you know very
well how difficult it is, these days… Okay, okay, you’re right, sorry
for reacting, but you know, with all we have to do in order to have a
good supply, you can’t believe it. I do, I really do: I’m working as an
answer shoveller for the municipality. Right, so you can really
appreciate this wonderful question, still wet, just out of the mouth
of…
100810
I know my job is a dirty one, but someone has to do it, isn’t that what
they said? If you really think about it, I take care of many things that
make you feel good. Things that maybe you don’t dare to consider to
the very end and much less do. Right, it doesn’t always go like that, it
could be that things don’t happen like you hope, but, in conclusion, if
you stay ‘til the end of the game, I take care of many of your concerns.
I’m a problem solver, though. I’m just doing my job, so, if sometimes it’s
your turn to feel bad, well, don’t blame it on me.
110910
When you speak to me, you should watch me in my eyes to understand. I
know it’s not easy. It’s a little like going around asking questions
knowing very well that maybe we can’t cope with the answers. I’d like,
here where I am, if you’d be brave enough to try to read me inside.
You’d Probably understand something about yourself. But maybe you
don’t want to. If I would say now to lift your eyes and stare at me,
would you do it? Would you be able to tell me that you lose me, if you
were able to do it openly. I don’t think so, really, I don’t think so,
because you know that I’ll never let you go...
121010
Once upon a time there was a chicken who always showed off.
Obviously he ended up being the first one in the pot, but that's not the
point. If a chicken boasts, is it wise to say it to everybody? Seems bad to
talk about something like this, but it could happen to anyone and it's
good to know what's awaiting us. A long neck doesn't help, in this
case it's too easy to get caught. Nor does a short wing. Shouldn't
even take the beak into account. The fact remains that in order to
talk about a show-off chicken you need to be there. And this is not a
convinction to be taken lightly.
131110
You've caught me, you keep me in a trap and you don't even know it. I
can't stand this, I don't allow your superficiality, your pretending
nothing is going on, your complaining about me, about my
accelerations, my lateness. You keep me prisoner where I don't want
to be and you also have the presumption to speak badly about me. You
say how important I am for you and that's why you're afraid of me,
while you throw me away by word without being able to actually do it.
And when someone does it for you, you don't even thank him.
141210
I’ll kill you. Don’t make that face, asking yourself how I could know
who you are. I know where you are, too, which should trouble you
much more. And you don’t know either who I am or where I am. This is
really funny, at least for me. No, in fact, it’s not at all. I’m not free to
do what I’d like to as I would like to. I’ll kill you, as I was saying and I
mean exactly that one thing, no vital sign, heart stopped, lungs
stilled, flat brain line. Nothing personal, of course, pure business, as
per contract. What a laugh, if you only knew who turned it on.
151310
No, I will not kill you. It isn’t worth it. I don’t have anything better to
do, but I will not kill you. I’ll let you do it by yourselves. I’ll be at your
side along the path, the avenue, the road you’ll chose to get to the
very end, pretending to ignore where you are going. I’ll laugh at you
for every lost opportunity, every word not spoken, every thing not
done, thinking, well, tomorrow is another day. But they won’t see it,
although frankly I don’t give a damn. There will not be anything else
to be seen by you. Without any effort, without a single move from me,
you will be dead.
161410
Tiredness came to visit me. I saw it happy, motivated. It seems things are
going well for it and the market is soaring. Last time, instead, it was
so worn out, poor thing. It seemed to have had no rest for all
holidays. It’s not a great life, but surely it’s better than standing in
line for a plate of lentils at the priest’s cafeteria. It’s fine, really
fine, seems new, so shiny and dressed up. Always had that little
something that you can’t really understand, almost as if it was tiring
to get tired… But it’s always able to get the right joke, the smile. The
comic timing of Tiredness is perfect.
171510
I passed by just to say hello to jollity. It was in. Few people, although,
hasty, sure of discovering the unthinkable and unwilling to trust the
obvious. And there it was, the jollity, in the midst of all that, breaking
its neck, explaining, telling about that time when, by chance, it was
welcome where you mustn’t, running through as it knows how, agile
and quick from a mouth to a pair of eyes, from one thought to
another. It was there just a short time, but everything was changed,
the dead apart, being already dead. All sweating, warm, turgid, it
looked like something quite different, but nobody noted that either.
181610
You have to believe me, it was inevitable. Hard to do it, once done. It
doesn’t sound good. It must make you understand how I do feel, not to
be a soundtrack. You’re just repeating the same verb. Which one? To
do, as if it could help in someway. It wasn’t by choice, but to me it’s fine
like that. And what are you, then? Apart from what you do, I mean. I’m
the undone.
191710
I’d like so much to talk about love and be able to do it in words, not
only with facts. I’m a master, yes I am, of things. You have no idea, you
don’t know how everything moves when I come on stage. love, too, of
course. What should it have that’s different? Isn’t it what they want
to do, do? And it’s up to me to face the cards, up to me, to get into the
room where supposedly I didn’t have to be, up to me, to chase roads
full of conditionals, subordinates, oximorons. It’s up to me to clean
up everything, good and bad, without the satisfation of being able to
say what I know about love and which you’ll never know.
201810
When they don’t listen to you, when they don’t endorse you, when it
really seems there is no way to make them understand that you could
actually go, then, you get you don’t have a single reason to be here.
They don’t ask you for one, being so used to have you there. You are,
that’s all, like coffee in the morning, like postman who arrives, taxes
and finals at the end of the year. You are and so it really seems like
you have to be there forever. They seem to think that, if you should
go, everything would be exactly the same. anyway it would be too
late, trying to explain.
211910
Let’s talk straight, finally. You’re asking yourselves if I know you, if I
know what you’re doing, if I know who you are. You don’t get why it
would be possible to have room for thought and words in a non place
where you’re just extras, receptors self aware as can be who prefer
to spend a minute in front of a screen rather than between somebody
else’s legs. Well, I really think it’s time to tell you things as they are.
I am your unit of measure, without me you’re alone and as such you’ll
be afraid. I am what you are not.
222010
I think I understand that we have problems. No way. It could be, but
you don’t look so well… I’m very well, on the contrary: moon high in
the sky, a little foggy, steady step. And you call this being fine? I don’t
have a problem in the world. see, how can you go ahead without even
a single problem to resolve? I make solutions, I don’t care about
problems. And who is supposed to be in charge of them? Maybe you
could be the one, rather than being here talking. If I did it, it would be
a lot of trouble for you too. Why? No problem, no solution.
232110
Let the Seasons be friendly to you, because this is good. So come the
cold and also the heat. Let Nothing scare you and let the load you
carry along your way be light. As long as you know where to go. If the
path leads to the abyss, be quick to oppose. If instead it brings you to
the sea, have your mind clear to choose, so the waters will take you
or just dampen you. If the main road is truly that one you’ll recognize
it immediately and nothing would be able to distract you from your
step, steady and strong, to the last one.
242210
Sometimes, I’d like not to be what I am. I know, they tell me it happens
to everybody, but, believe me, in my case the difference would be huge
for everybody. Think stillness, for instance, and think about its lack
of thickness. It could be this, by the way, one of the strongest
impulses to modify the actual structure of being. If you weren’t what
you are, you’d be another thing, full point. I mean that every single
thing around you would be different because you woudn’t be you. But
if I weren’t be what I am, it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t be..
252310
keeping quite is sometime the best evidence of being alive. If this is life.
262410
You should give up. Would probably do a lot of good, at least to the
skin. Surrender, totally, allow a proprioceptive function to start
between body and mind and world. That's the much talked-about
energy becoming imperative word in the limbs of who has them, action,
facts: all that's a complementary result of the desired effect and
spending of itself. If you would surrender, all would be object
complement and the subjects would be defeated at the end, starting
from who we're sure to be. But maybe we aren't, without even knowing
it.
272510
I watch you passing by. I am the watchman. You are mine.
282610
Who am I? What am I doing? I’d like so much to be tired.
292710
If the symmetry, as it is, does exist, what is my presence? I mean, also
without considering any mythical dopplerganger, this is not a trivial
problem. What is symmetrical to me should be defined by me, but in the
same way it should be a reciprocal definition to tell me what I am. We
would both be God then, capable of naming a thing and creating it at
the same time. Crazy, we can't both be God. If we postulate the single
existence, although trinal. But this could be, may be, the obbligatory
passage to the sixth floor.
302810
All that follow their noses are led by their eyes, but blind men; and
there’s not a nose among twenty but can smell him that’s stinking. Let
go thy hold when a great wheel runs down a hill, lest it break thy
neck with following. But the great one that goes upward, let him
draw thee after. When a wise man gives thee better counsel, give me
mine again; I would ha’ none but knaves follow it, since a fool gives it.
Am I wrong?
312910
Well, you know… The things are never like they look. Let’s say you
have a cat, for example. You have this cat in your house and it doesn’t
know how to exit. So you’re not at home and the cat is trying to figure
out how to find its way out. It starts to do its best around the door,
close to the windows, it even tries to pass through the fireplace. So,
it becomes a little upset and starts to crash the glasses, to litter the
couches, to scratch the table’s legs, to… When you come home you
find it dead in the oven and you think: “How the hell did I forget to
turn off the flame?”
323010
I was… I am… Whatever I, this is the point. The big point. It’s not a
question of thinking, it is not a question of being. The question is
where. It’s easy to understand what it means to be. To be or not to be
it’s just a simple tricky, trivial joke. If you are ready to ask, you are.
But your whereabouts are the real stuff, the real, big problem. You
can’t just say I am if you don’t see a place where you belong. It’s a kind
of sticky syrup connecting the entire world to your most intimate
essence. Everytime you think about yourself you had to think of
something around you. To me, this is unbearable, better yet,
impossible.
333110
This is really strange. I’m not blind, but I cannot see a single thing. At
least, I cannot now. What this “now” could mean is matter of
discussion. To be lonely doesn’t mean to be alone, so, in the same way,
to be now doesn’t mean to be. There is no doubt about it. When the fox
comes to the chicken house, the chicken hawk is not so happy. They
have the same target, more or less, and they cannot fight each other.
So, the solution for being fed is to be there in the right now, that is
right only for one of the two contendants, but it could have been for
the other too. So, what is now?